Year of No Fear

12 easy steps to whatever

2011-11-14T00:29:00.000-08:00

1. Browse Pinterest while feeding the baby. Say "hmmm" a lot. Wonder if you should have a board titled, "STOP. JUST STOP." for some of the crazy, crazy stuff on there. Find some promising ideas for spice storage.

Source: theartofdoingstuff.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Source: 1userverrack.net via Mackenzie on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Source: frugaldecormom.blogspot.com via Hipsu on Pinterest

2. Get all excited when you see this all over Pinterest:

Source: manditremayne.blogspot.com via Cami on Pinterest

. . . because HOLY COW one of your very favorite people did that! Sweet!

3. Become mildly unhappy with your current spice situation.

4. Collect various empty jars. And a baby spoon. And an avocado, apparently.

5. Print names of spices to punch out. Break your circle punch. Remind yourself that trying to punch three layers of cardstock was a bad idea. Realize that your sisters are going to mock you for having a circle punch, even the sister that secretly owns about 45 more punches than you do.

6. Try to cut circles with scissors. FAIL. Go with squares.

7. Ask yourself WHO CARES what your spices look like. YOU no longer care.

8. Oops - forgot poppy seeds. Write it yourself. In dull pencil. Because heck if you're going to walk into the next room to find a pen.

9. Pause production to take care of your cute baby.

10. Give the stink-eye to the teenager who waited until Sunday night to do her homework.

11. Run out of glass jars. Ask yourself if you care. (You don't.)

12. Meh, good enough. Pin THAT, I say.

Title Schmitle

2011-07-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

Can I not act my age for just a minute? Maybe more like 13?

Because this is like, totally the WORST WEEK EVER.

Not just because my teenagers are at Girls' Camp WITHOUT ME. Rude.

Not just because I snuck up to Girls' Camp with a baby yesterday evening to deliver a late camper and some forgotten supplies and, like, got totally caught sneaking around the back of the silent, silent fireside to hug my teenager. And they were all like, "What are you doing? The Stake is watching!" And I was all whispering, "Dude, I know, I'm gonna go." And then the baby was all, "BURP."

Not just because (and this is for the two people I haven't whined to about this yet) my baby is extremely sensitive to dairy AND eggs AND wheat, AND I'm on an antibiotic that must be taken FOUR times a day on an empty stomach and I'M HUNGRY. Like, whatever! (As my sister tells me, it would appear that karma is calling me FAT.)

Not even just because I'm finally writing a hasty post for the first time in months and why the heck is blogger making me chase my cursor thingy all over the page?

It's mostly just because J-dub is moving away forever this weekend and I'm soooooo sad.

SO NOT FAIR. (I just stomped my foot.)

Dear Arizona: You totally stink. Thanks for stealing one of my favorite people.

(My lower lip is now quivering, and I'm about to flounce into my room and throw myself face down on my bed.)

Except now the baby is waking up and I have to be a grownup again.

(Seriously, WHERE did the cursor go??)

A post that will make you feel better about yourself, one way or another.

2011-03-31T00:38:00.000-07:00

Right after the New Year, I noticed there was a flurry of posts on various blogs about home organization. It was a veritable multitude of clever, crafty and attractive ideas that I would ideally love to try someday.

But let's be honest. I'm not getting around to them anytime soon.

And then, upon further reflection, it occurred to me that I have my own current style of home organization. I think I shall call it Redneck Shabby Geek. Or something like that.

You're intrigued, aren't you?

For example, at our house, adults are not required to observe the heaven-help-you-if-you-take-any-food-into-carpeted-areas rule. Unfortunately, one of the adults at our house had nowhere to set beverages, and would settle into the recliner, and then set beverages on the carpet next to the recliner. ON. THE. CARPET. The other adult at our house, without an end table to spare, wondered why automotive cup holders can't come standard with carpeted rooms, and then had a flash of inspiration involving an empty can, some plastic wrap, and the small filing cart next to the recliner.

Behold! A redneck cupholder! (My carpet thanks me.)

Stuffed animals taking over the kids' room? Sew little loops onto each of them (do NOT bother with coordinating thread . . . everyone gets purple) . . . .

And then hang them from cup hooks screwed into an unfinished plank screwed to the wall. Pretend not to notice when lots of things besides stuffed animals also get hung from the hooks.

A big shelf plus dollar store tubs equals two dressers and a bookshelf condensed into a footprint of two square feet. Yes, the tubs are always messy. That's the redneck way.

More unfinished wood. This time, adorned with large thumbtacks. Hung above the remnants of a broken towel rack that needs better wall anchors. I'll get around to it. Maybe when I get around to painting the dusty pink walls. Don't hold your breath.

Here's a conversation we get to enjoy almost every morning:
Child 1: I need a hairbrush!
Me: Ask Child 2.
Child 2: She can't use mine. She'll lose it!
Child 1: I can't find mine!
Me: I've bought at least 25 hairbrushes in the last 10 years. WHERE ARE THEY?
Child 1: Puh-leeez can I use yours?
Child 2: NO
Me: LET HER USE YOUR BRUSH FOR 30 FREAKING SECONDS.
2 minutes later . . . .
Child 2: Where's my hairbrush?
Child 1: Pfft, I dunno.

SO, I went to the dollar store (again) and bought three brushes. Want to see where they are now?

That's right. Two of them are tethered to bathroom fixtures. The third is tied to my desk, just to be sure. Lose THAT, punks.

While Child 1 and Child 2 are arguing over the brushes, Child 3 is usually trying to get out the door without having met a brush at all, and has gotten away with it on a few occasions. This is why I keep a comb in the church bag, and why I've had to use it while singing the opening hymn on more than one occasion.


No fabric-lined baskets or coordinating rubbermaid containers here. The toys get stashed in ice cream and laundry soap buckets and tossed onto a chipboard shelf. whispering They're not even labeled.

Some of our laundry procedures (Mom, look away for a few minutes): If you put it in the laundry inside-out, it will be washed, dried, folded, and returned to you inside-out. (If only half of the item is inside out - say, one sleeve or leg - I will cave and turn it all the right way so it will fold properly. I suspect the 8yo is on to this.) I'm also toying with the idea of not matching socks anymore. Each person would just get a pile of their own, unfolded socks. Admit it: you're mulling that one over now too, aren't you?

Redneck Spring Break Resort, Day One

Redneck Spring Break Resort, Day Two

Redneck Spring Break Resort, Day Three. (Also known as the day even this mother couldn't take it anymore, and made the poor children put it all away.)

You may think you're looking at a deceptively deep puddle that fools each and every kid that hops out of a car in my driveway and results in many a soggy shoe in my entryway, but I prefer to think of it as my moat. It's more fun that way.

This isn't much related to home organization, even in the redneck world, but this doggone coyote pelt has been hanging to dry outside my kitchen window for weeks now, and I just thought that if I have too look at it every day, then why not share the excitement?

Speaking of excitement, is there anything better than a pack of kids running like a herd of elephants through the back door because they can't wait to show you that they've harvested the first spring flower just for you?

Also regarding excitement, this is such a dopey picture (oh my, I can't believe I'm posting it), but it pretty much sums up the mood around here.

Tick Tock

2011-03-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, the kids started asking me several times daily to tell them how many days were left until the baby comes. I'm a math geek and all, but all the addition was getting to me, so of course I made a looooong paper chain:

. . . like that.

And now it looks like this:

(I think it was sat upon sometime recently.)

We are almost to single digits, and I still can't wrap my head around it. Every time I wake up, I have to remind myself that it's for real!

It's a nice way to wake up.

Presidents' Day

2011-02-21T10:13:00.000-08:00

I got the kids up at 7:00 this morning on a holiday to do chores. Secretly, they were really grateful, I'm sure.

Conversations that ensued:

5yo: It's seven hundred. Should I wake up the girls?
Me: Yes, please.
5yo: They usually get up when I yell "BOO!"
5yo: *Goes and yells "BOO!" at the 12yo and 15yo*
5yo: Um, they jus' ugnored me.

7yo: My eyes hurt really bad.
Me: If you have pinkeye, I'm quitting my job.
12yo: What job?
Me: MOTHERHOOD.
7yo: *throws up*
12yo: Please don't quit, Mom!

15yo, playing out of the Children's Songbook: The Prophet said to plant a garden?
Me: Well, yes.
15yo: When?

Me, while cleaning the bedroom, to Mr. B: You know, if you're going to scatter your clothing about like you're succumbing to a moment of passion, I think I ought to be benefiting somehow.
Previously unobserved 15yo: Uh . . . is it bad that I totally understood that?

This picture just makes me laugh. The kids were watching the baby stretch and kick, and more than one of them thought it was creepy.

Making Mr. Rogers Proud

2011-02-07T11:51:00.000-08:00

When we moved into our current home five years ago, one of our new neighbors warned us gently about the guy across the street: He didn't care for cats (not a problem) or kids (maybe a problem). We noticed right quick that he didn't care much for a friendly "hello" either. But we've acquired no cats, kept the kids out of his yard and avoided subjecting him to neighborly chit-chat, and in return, we've had no complaints from him. Good enough!

He can't be that bad, because he did take the time to come over shortly after we moved in, and let us know that our perpetually flooded driveway did indeed have a drain, and he pointed out where he thought it was. I thanked him happily, and I intended to thank him again with a plate of goodies, but never got around to it, of course. Until Monday morning, it was the only time I had conversed with him in five years.

He DID report us to the police once, but so did pa-lenty of other households within a one-mile radius. (No exaggeration. Turns out illegal fireworks can be mistaken for gunfire or worse. Who knew?) Anyway, we suspect he was one of the ones who called, because he was watching from across the street as the police came to the door, which was thrown open by six ecstatic children (and one mother with a camera) expecting to see Santa Claus.

(Bless Santa's heart, he had arrived at the same time as the police, and was waiting around the corner for the dust to settle. Except when he did finally come to the door, the children refused to answer it. Go figure.)

SO just Monday morning, I happened to be taking kids to school right when he & his dog were outside, and the dog came barreling across the street towards us, barking and growling. The poor man had no choice but to come collect his dog. I figured I'd better say something, which ended up being:

"So, is this a new dog?" (Because I really couldn't remember ever seeing it before.)

And he replied, "No, I've had him for six years."

I think that's a conversation that'll hold us for another five years, don't you?

For Mandi

2011-01-07T15:14:00.000-08:00

(Because I would do anything for Mandi.)

That is a mad bull, right? With really skinny legs? Or am I totally missing it? (I'm probably totally missing it.) Wait, is it a mad bull being held up in the air by a Polar Bear? A two-headed llama? An Ecuadorian pictograph for Olé, we finally unloaded the reject fabric on that guapo, guapo gringo?

I'll get back to you on the egg whites - gotta go pick kids up.

2010

2011-01-06T19:06:00.000-08:00

I swiped this from my awesome sister.

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1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I ran for 2 miles. Without stopping. Now you can stop laughing.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 
Didn't make any, so yes? No? And so far, there are no new ones, but we'll see. (Maybe I should resolve to be more decisive.)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 
Two of my brothers' wives did (note the punctuation: that's two married brothers, not one brother with two wives), and I got to spend time in both of their homes within the first weeks/months afterwards. How do they make it look so easy? I do NOT remember it being that easy. Other people gave birth too, but I didn't invite myself to their houses.

4. Did anyone close to you die? 
Not close to me personally, but some dear friends lost their 25yo son very suddenly, and I don't know how to express how heart-wrenching it has been. I would do anything to make it easier for them, but there's no magic for something like this. I just keep thinking of one of my favorite quotes: "Hands often speak as voices can't. A warm embrace conveys volumes. A laugh together unites us. A moment of sharing refreshes our souls. We cannot always lift the burden of one who is troubled, but we can lift her so she can bear it well." (Elaine L. Jack) Even then, I'm not sure how much is too little, and how much is too much.

5. What countries did you visit?
Who put this question in here?

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
The usual - more organization, less clutter, more motivation, less waistline, more generous budget . . . but none of those are life-threatening (yet), so I can live with it. Or work on it. Either way. (See #2.)

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Days I got really good news, days I got really bad news, and the Great Kidney Transplant of 2010, because it went so well and because my sister and I laughed ourselves sick whilst documenting it all.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Well, staying pregnant is definitely up there. Also, I drove all the way to Utah all by myself. And ran a little (locally. Not on the way to Utah). Also, we managed to get to a place, financially, where I no longer have to take time away from my family to supplement our income (as long as we're very careful). (Plug here for YNAB, of course. Oh how I love it.)

WAIT WAIT!! I also voluntarily and correctly whipped egg whites several times!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Announcing to the entire church choir that I had recognized one of the songs from our Christmas Cantata in a Disney movie, and wasn't that fascinating? And then being informed that the mysterious song was "Ave Maria." (In my weak, weak, defense, the Cantata had different lyrics and no credit for the original.) (If you're thinking I missed a way more obvious failure, just keep it to yourself, ok?)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I thought I had broken my foot at one point, but luckily I was wrong. I wasn't looking forward to explaining that I broke my foot by falling over while walking out the door. I was going to tell people I did it while demonstrating a back handspring for the kids. You would have bought that, right?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A bigger family car, with SEAT WARMERS, I tell you! (A well-timed purchase brought about by the unexpected demise of our poor van.) So what if I'm generally hunkered down at home because of 13mpg. When I do go out, my seat is TOASTY!

12. Where did most of your money go?
Not into my pocket, that's for sure. Actually, I could fire up ye olde YNAB (I don't even get a kickback. I just love it.) and tell you exactly where it all went, but that's not any of your business. I guess there's some spare change I can't account for . . . no, wait: it's under the couch cushions with the legos, hair clips, and loose thumbtacks.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Besides seat warmers? And Star Sushi's crunchy crab roll? At one point, I told myself to get really excited that my potty-training/smelly-diapering/nursing-bras/eternal-nights were things of the past. It was working, too. But then I was really excited to find out I was wrong.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I'm thinking it's "Ave Maria."

15. Compared to this time last year, are you: 
– happier or sadder? Happier, in the sense that life keeps getting better.
– thinner or fatter? AHEM
– richer or poorer? What is this, the nosiest quiz ever?

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? 
More and more and more playing with my kids. I was better at that in 2010 than in 2009 or 2008, but tick tock . . . they'll start leaving in a few years and I already miss them.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? 
Wasting time.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
Morning at home, afternoon/evening with extended family.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
I enjoy "NCIS" and "The Mentalist," but generally only if Mr. B is watching, too.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
"Joan of Arc" (Twain) . . . and . . . uh . . .. good golly, is that the only book I finished? How embarrassing. Add reading to #16. And I think I found a resolution for 2011: Not getting kicked out of Book Club.

21. What was your favorite music from this year? 
I know I should come up with something current, but would it surprise you to hear I have no idea what's current? So instead, I'm going with the violin/piano/cello trio that I got to play with my 14yo and 12yo at Christmas. I may have even teared up a little every doggone time we played it together. I love those girls.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I don't go to a lot of movies, but wasn't this a good year for animation? "Despicable Me" and "Tangled" were so good! That's right! I'm six years old!

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35, went to Mongolian BBQ with good friends . . . and now I'm panicking because I can't remember what I did that night, and I hope it wasn't something meaningful involving anyone who's going to read this. If I was J-Dub, I'd look back at my faithfully kept journal for reference. Curses.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More sleep. Fewer school mornings. More family vacations. Oh wait, that was three things.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
What's a personal fashion concept?

26. What kept you sane?
I'm wondering the same thing.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. 
When your husband thinks his Ecuadorian sweater is the bee's knees, and you're pretty sure (despite question #25) that the truth lies elsewhere, do NOT encourage him to wear it to a rockin' Ugly Sweater Contest, where he will make a heck of an entrance, win by a landslide and be shocked and somewhat disillusioned. If you're lucky, though, he'll be a really good sport about it and even wear it to church in defiance two days later.

(Too bad you can't see the mad bull stitched on the back.)

Titles Stress Me Out

2010-12-29T11:50:00.001-08:00

Last summer, (dear summer, I miss you) I was picking my 12yo up from the dentist's office, and she and I were waiting while the gentleman ahead of us was being checked out. It was taking a while, but we weren't in any hurry. I can't remember what we were talking about . . . maybe the upcoming family reunion, or our mutual gratitude that she had no cavities?

As we were headed out the door after checking out, the gentleman we had waited for approached me and shook my hand, then congratulated me on my daughter's good manners, my parenting, and the rapport he had observed!

As I thanked him, he handed me this card:

I'm not going to lie; it made my day! What a kind, thoughtful gesture!

Also, I'm not going to lie; had he seen me about 24 hours prior in Wal-Mart with my 7yo and 5yo, he most definitely would not have handed me that card. I wonder if he has a card in his other pocket that says, "Hey, lighten up and realize that if your kids are a little wired, it's because they're making the best of yet another boring shopping trip."

Actually, I kept that card out on my dresser for quite a while, because that was the week when the baby nausea started, (and the ensuing survival mode: just keep them fed and clothed and get them to and from school on time). I had to remind myself that there was a time when I felt like being a good mom.

I'm hesitant to write much on here about this baby, because there are a few people very near and dear to me who would give anything to be in the same place. At times when I've felt the same way, even when I was genuinely happy for those with better luck, I didn't always want to read all about it. (Not that women shouldn't be writing about it - I just chose not to read it sometimes.) (I've rewritten this paragraph about 6 times, so I hope it's taken as it's meant.)

But anyway, I'll save all the nitty-gritty details for my own personal journal, and just say that we're all terribly excited and grateful and just a wee bit nervous, but mostly excited. And grateful.

You know what else I'm grateful for? Everyone in this house (except he who is gainfully employed) has been sleeping in until 8:00 during Christmas break. I don't think we've enjoyed that any time in the last 14.9 years! Next week is going to be torture.

But this week is bliss!

Sincerely

2010-11-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

Dear October,

Deer AND elk season, two soccer games per Saturday, and the long-term departure of my beloved warm weather?

Your only redeeming features are fall leaves and multiple birthday celebrations.

Sincerely,

Is it Spring Yet?

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Dear Family,

Did I really take a whole, entire shower without anybody trying to talk to me through the door? A whole shower in which I didn't have to holler that truly, honestly, I can't hear what in the world you're saying, and that if it's not blood or fire, it can wait?

Love,

Stunned, but Grateful

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Dear Halloween,

I was in costume. I was a nudist on strike.

Sincerely,

HAR HAR

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Dearest, Sweetest Automotive Seat Warmers,

Where have you been all my life? You are rising quickly to the top of my short list of things that make winter bearable.

Love,

Please Don't EVER Leave Me

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Dear Kids,

Tonight when we watched videos of you from 3 years ago, you were all so young and cute, it really did hurt a little to see how fast you're growing up. And then I realized that in 3 years, the videos we shoot this year will be young and cute and a little painful, too. I wonder if you all could just stop growing up for a little while? My heart can't keep up with you.

Love,

Mom

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Dear Crunchy Crab Sushi Roll,

Is it wrong that I can't stop thinking about you? And that I offered a date with you to my daughters as a reward for good grades? (They seemed a little confused by the offer. Weird.)

Sincerely,

Report Cards Come Out This Month

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Dear Little Idea I Tried Out,

Well, whaddya know? It worked! Just about 4 weeks after the last bag of baby clothes was given away, actually. The excitement around here is tangible, and the kids' anticipation might be the funnest part of all.

Sincerely,

I Still Can't Believe It!

Complete Slacker

2010-10-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Since it's common knowledge that I have got some fears, it should also be noted that I hate change! I don't deal with it well at all. So 6 months ago we moved. It's been the hardest thing for me! We moved one mile away. I realize this is pathetic but I've had every emotion hit me about moving. However, it's not just that we packed up our house and moved our belongings, I have a theory as to why it's been so hard:

We changed Wards-we went from a very small, close knit ward, to a huge ward where I hardly know anyone! Making new friends if very hard for me!

Two of my greatest friends moved away, I miss them terribly!

I started learning who my true friends are and who was just "friends" with me because we were in the same ward.

I've had some great help though in dealing with the change and some recent realizations:

My three year old was having a hard time adjusting and stopped sleeping through the night, she went from sharing a room with her brothers to having her own room. A great friend brought her family over for dinner and it normalized everything for my girl and she started enjoying her own room and started sleeping all night again. Thank you!

I came to the realization that having not moved wouldn't make me feel better. I didn't miss our ward as much as I missed our ward of a few years ago when my great friends were still there.

I have still got some great friends that will always be my friends and that after a really bad day I can call at 9:30 at night to meet me for a movie and they let me complain and they make me laugh and we enjoy our movie.

So my conclusion is I've been neglecting blogging because people don't want to hear me complain about how difficult things have been lately, but now that I'm on the other side I can say I love my new house, the space is amazing, and I'm so glad we switched wards, all the kids have made so many new great friends that it was completely worth it! And I've got great friends that haven't moved and I really do enjoy them. And I made a new friend! So I am back and I did do something completely for the sake of the blog this summer. Stay tuned.....................

Many, Many Unrelated Pictures, A.K.A. At Least It's a Post

2010-10-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

Some fearlessness for your viewing pleasure:

Obviously not me, but I'm raising them. Does that count?

Just one of my favorite pictures ever:

SHHH!! If he finds out I posted this, I'm toast. (The kids put that on him, and I snuck a picture without permission.)

Another school year. Thirty-six second-grade spelling tests to study for. It's a full-time job. So when O got 100% on her spelling test, I let her pick a candy out of the forbidden Halloween candy jars. Right away, Little J (5) asked for one, and I told him he had to do something spectacular.

"What's spickspackular?" he asked.

"Something amazing!" I told him.

"Like cleaning my room?"

"No, even more amazing."

About half an hour later, he came out from his bedroom with his magnadoodle and asked, "Mom, is this spickspackular?"

Why, yes indeed! (Has he got my number, or what?)

Speaking of written correspondence with the kids, here are a few of my recent favorites:

(Did you know if your child gets high fevers around age 1, it can damage their still-forming permanent teeth? I didn't. Now I do.)

Home school for college? My child thinks I'm a genius! (She may brst with teers when she finds out the truth.)

When Jason & I got back from a real, bonafide dinner date (what's that?) last weekend, we discovered the following:

A three-bedroom, one bath (you think I'm kidding) fort! (Our 12yo's specialty.) Allow me to take you on a tour:

The hallway:

The living room:

Three bedrooms:

I didn't get to see the bathroom on my tour, but the kids tell me it was just off the master bedroom. The babysitter was worth every penny we WOULD have paid her if we weren't saving to send her to college someday.

What Blog? Where?

2010-07-08T10:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry, little blog, but I'm drowning in squeaky wheels, and you're not one of them.

Given adequate time, I would try to write a post about how my amazing mom received a kidney recently from my amazing aunt, and what an honor it was to be part of that experience, and how grateful I am to my family for allowing me to spend a week at my mom's side, and how I feel pure joy every time I see my mom in renewed health. But then I would realize how close to my heart it all was, and still is, and I would decide that the internet is not the right forum for something so internal and tender. And then I would just tell you how much I love all of my family.

But if you were really interested in the whole story from my family's perspective, you could go to www.ushassells.com and read the 50+ posts, staring around June 21, or if you just wanted a little taste of how amazing these two women are, you could just read this and this and this. And maybe this.

But since time is in short supply, and I'm supposed to be doing a whole lot of something else, I'm just going to throw some syrup on this waffle, as Mickie would say, and call it good.

Going camping with 6 people and adequate equipment requires some serious packing skillz:

And some serious redneck skillz:

10 hours into the camping trip (we were asleep for 7 of them), we already had wet laundry:

And by that night, all the children had one dry outfit left:

So with my sanity in mind, we went here:

Where everyone else was happy to wait while doing this:

After which I loaded up clean, dry, folded laundry and breathed a contented sigh of enormous relief.

How cool is this?

HAR:

(Camping Glam. Awesome.)

We celebrated the Home of the Brave:

And, after that horrible, sickening how-did-I-let-my-child-get-hurt feeling ebbed a little, we said a prayer of thanks that he only fell against the firepit, and not into it.

So here we are, 10 loads of laundry later and gearing up for our next camping adventure. What an excellent day for a little bitty bladder to soak right through my giant bean bag, making it necessary to throw away the wet stuffing, unstuff the whole doggone thing, wash the cover, vacuum everything in a 6-foot radius, and pack 9 bags of shredded foam rubber into the garage for another day's project.

Shredded foam rubber, you are NOT my friend.

Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh

2010-06-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

The rules of the Year of No Fear go like this:

If a new opportunity is offered, it has to be tried out. Just once.
Rule #1 may be broken if it poses a threat to safety, sanity, finances, or marital harmony. It can also be reconsidered if one's neighbor-in-law declares it more dangerous than driving Hwy 140. *wink*
Rule #2 does not apply to *irrationalizations such as a fear of public embarrassment. Clearly.
*I just made that word up. Google says otherwise, but miriamwebster.com and dictionary.com back me up. (What nerd? Where?)
If Rule #1 is carried out with unsatisfactory results, the aforementioned opportunity may be freely rejected at all subsequent offerings.

I am hereby Rule #5-ing cold-weather camping.

Had a great time. Not doing it in 40 degrees again.

But on to the good times!

Looky! My whole family held still for a picture? Would you like an 8x10, Mom?

Hee hee!

Oh my stars, he posed for ANOTHER snapshot! Note to self: get a large, dead fish for the next family picture.

I may have done just a leetle bit of ~~fretting~~ ~~grumbling~~ ~~doomsaying~~ voicing my concerns about the forecast for rain before we left. Mr. B pretty much ignored me until we were on the road, and then assured me that I would be "the dryest, happiest wife that ever went camping," and to leave it to him. So I did. And he was right! Check out our campsite!

The girls LOVED scaling the fish!

Ok, one of them did.

(And THANK YOU, Mr. B, for not Rule #1-ing me on the whole fish-cleaning process!)

The nights were just cold. And yes, I thought sadly of pioneer mothers and children, and said many prayers of thanks for sleeping bags and blankets and hats. And woke up every 30 minutes to make sure this guy was still under blankets:

Thank you, US Air Force and military-issue sleeping bags:

Perk of camping: it's totally OK to look like this:

Mrs. F, we LOVED the cresent-rolls-on-sausages-on-a-stick breakfast! Thanks for the yummy idea!

Also, props to Mrs. G and Mrs. R for the hip new s'mores idea! Even the skeptics loved them:

Another perk of camping: Undying love for home, sweet home, and children who are too tired to fight bedtime. Or intrusive feet.

Movin' right along, footloose and fancy free . . .

2010-05-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

A few things that I struggle with:

1. Long-distance road trips. (I'm always afraid I'll die.)
2. Long-distance road trips without my kids. (I'm always afraid I'll leave them motherless.)
3. Long-distance road trips alone. (All of the above, but I'll be asleep at the wheel when it happens.)

You guessed it: A solo trip to Utah was in order, something I had NEVER EVER done, and I was pretty sure I was going to die alone somewhere in Nevada. (Who said anything about being rational?)

So sure, in fact, that I cleaned my ENTIRE house and took my family out to dinner the night before I left.

Some snippets from dinner:
Kids: WOW! What is that flashy buzzy pager thingy?
Kids: Um, are we supposed to follow that guy?
Kids: What? We can CHOOSE our food off of this BIG paper folder gizmo?
Mr. B: Hey hon, when's the last time we took the kids to a real restaurant?
Me: Hmm . . . um . . . WHOA. Yeah, about five years ago.

Me: You know, since I'm going to be driving alone with sketchy cell service, maybe I'd better take your handgun with me. (I know, I'm so edgy.)
Mr. B: I've never, ever been as attracted to you as I am right now.

Me: So all the bills are paid and everything is clean, but I didn't get around to cleaning our shower.
Mr. B: Sounds good.
Me: So if I die on the road, will you clean our shower before the Relief Society shows up?
Mr. B: Uh, no.
Me: What? But if I'm dead, I don't want anyone to see our shower!
Mr. B: Oh ok. You mean, like . . . "Oh man, Mrs. B's dead. I'd better go clean the shower."
Me: Exactly!
Mr. B: Yeah. No.

For the record, he DID clean the shower while I was gone. And I wasn't even dead! Also for the record, Mr. B is AWESOME about taking over when I leave town. He doesn't complain a bit, which would be highly insulting (or perhaps suspicious) if he wasn't so happy to see me when I come back home. I'm also very grateful to wonderful friends who took my 4yo during the days.

And, as is generally the case with these YONF-ish things, I LOVED that drive! The sweeping vistas! The uninterrupted thoughts! The conference talks! The belting-out of my geeky playlists! The record-time pit stops!

I don't know when I've ever spent 13 hours totally alone, but it was a treat. I had NO idea how much I would enjoy it. (That sounds like an ego gone wrong, but you get what I mean, right?)

Two brownie points to anyone who can tell me where this picture was taken (Put your hand down, K2, I know you know!):

So I got to spend a delightful week with these two beauties . . .

. . . and their lovely, amazing mother. She makes mothering newborns and toddlers look like a BREEZE! It's also possible that a sweet little 2yo had her "Aunt Meena" wrapped around her finger from the moment I arrived. (I miss you guys!)

I took advantage of one quiet night to go meet some friends. This was also a little scary for me, because I had never met any of them in real life before! Not scary in a they-could-be-mass-murderers sort of way (although I suppose they could have been, being internet friends and all), but in a don't-be-a-goofus-don't-be-a-goofus (name that movie) sort of way.

Lucky for me, not one of these ladies was homicidal, and they were all every bit as lovely in real life as online. It was such a fun night out enjoying good food, excellent company, and many funny stories.

For the love, can't I just look decent in a picture for once?

And THEN I got to drive my big sister and my little brother all over SLC, which was like a very fun mini family reunion on wheels. In fact, over the course of my trip, I got to see four of my siblings, which makes for a pretty good week in and of itself.

Did I ever mention that I'm no good at ending posts?

Eight Ways to Stay Busy

2010-04-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

This . . .

. . . is me getting ready to run TWO MILES NONSTOP. This is BIG stuff. (No really, I'm in the picture. You can see my shoulder somewhere near those cute, cute girls in pink.)

And this . . .

. . . is a very excited group of girls on a quick and fun little road trip. We were invited to a sneak preview of "Wicked," which will be coming this direction next year. (I'm submitting a group order. Email me if you want in.) The t-shirts say "defy gravity" on the back. Get it?

This here . . .
. . . was decorated by me! BIG thanks to K2 and KW for the awesome fondant class!

This . . .
. . . is NOT a hyperactive hamster going crazy in her food dish, but that's what I thought the sound was as the glass slowly cracked into a bizillion pieces after a weed whacker kicked up a rogue rock.

Now THIS . . .
. . . is just one little example of how much we LOVE our newest neighbors!

One of my favorite conversations since moving day:
My 14yo: Hey mom, does E really need to knock when she comes over? Can't she just walk in?
Me: Well, E, I certainly wouldn't mind, but you might see Mr. B in his underwear.
E: Oh, yeah, um . . .
Me: You know, it would teach him a good lesson, but it would be at your expense.
E: Yeah. No. I'm good.

And just so you know, if coming home late at night and finding this . . .
. . . waiting for you doesn't melt your heart into a puddle, I don't know what will.

And finally, this . . .
. . . was the kids' April 1st after-school snack. (Caramel/Tootsie roll bacon, white chocolate/reeces pieces eggs, and frosting/whopper/jam/cinnamon roll spaghetti.) (April Fools! You're headed for a diabetic coma!) I promise the "spaghetti sauce" looked much more like strawberry jam in real life, and much less like a blood clot. Gross.

Love/Hate Relationship

2010-04-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

Now that I am in the middle of “the move” I have learned I have such a love/hate relationship with moving. Let me break it down for you:

Love:
Getting rid of stuff

Decluttering

Packing with some dear friends (I’ve learned some great things!)

Emptying and discarding contents of boxes that haven’t been touched for 6 years!

I had to call to change phone/Internet/satellite and was able to shop around and save $48 a month!

Found 3 missing library books that hat hit the either I find them today or go pay for them point!

Completely organizing the garage before we move in!

Hanging out with the kids while we work

Hate:
Finding mouse droppings

The constant switch of thoughts-I’ve done so much to I’ve got so much more to do

The thoughts that this will never end and we will never be in our new house.
How moving for us is really just one more thing to add to our busy lives. I still have a million things to do and must add packing and moving to my to-do list.
Now that I'm moving and have cleared out my garage, I can finally park my car in there. Why couldn't I have done this years ago?

I'm also grateful that moving has given me the distraction of the realization I have two dear and great friends (and their husbands and kids) that are moving either out of the city or out of the state. If I stop to think about it long enough it is downright depressing. These are those kinds of friends that come along once in a life time and can never be replaced. One dear friends daughter bore her testimony on Sunday and it brought tears to my eyes that while I've got to meet this incredible girl and her family I won't get her hugs at church anymore or see her on a regular basis. So I am grateful I've kept myself busy so I don't have to think about it.

Three cheers to "the move." I'm starting to see the end in sight!

Yeah, yeah, I know I said I was going to do this six months ago.

2010-04-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

You're so surprised, aren't you?

I finally pulled all the boxes of clothing out of the kids' closet, and bagged up everything that everyone has outgrown.

I did it with a knot in my stomach and a little lump in my throat, but I'm glad it's done, and I've already found new homes for all of it.

This, by the way, is the best system I've come up with for storing clothes for the next kid in line. And I've tried MANY systems.

I donated it to a *local charity

2010-04-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

After 10 minutes of navigating exasperating phone menus and holding:

Customer Service Representative: Thank you for calling Virgin Mobile. What is your Virgin Mobile number?

Me: No, I don't have one.

CSR: What?

Me: I ordered a phone from you over 7 weeks ago. The order didn't go through, and I called a few days later and canceled it, but I received a phone in the mail three days ago, and I'd like to return it to you.

CSR: So, do you need an address to send it to?

Me: Well, normally, you would give me an RMA number.

CSR: A what?

Me: Usually, in a case like this, you'll email me a UPS label with a Return Merchandise Authorization Number on it.

CSR: Do you have an account number?

Me: No, I don't have an account with you. Would you like an order number?

CSR: Yes. (repeats order number back) Please hold while I research this.

10 minutes later:

CSR: I apologize for the wait. Our system is slow. Can you continue to hold?

Me: Yes, but while I was waiting I checked with Paypal, and the payment never went through, so you were never paid for this phone.

CSR: You didn't pay for it?

Me: The payment I authorized was never completed by Virgin Mobile and has now expired.

CSR: Please hold.

10 minutes later:

CSR: Ok, you can return the phone, but because you've had it longer than 30 days, you cannot receive a refund.

Me: ?

Me: I received the phone three days ago, but I don't need a refund, because it was never paid for. I just need to know if you want it back.

CSR: It wasn't paid for?

Me: No.

CSR: How can I help you?

Me: I think it will just be easier if I keep the phone. Is that ok with you?

CSR: Um . . . yes. Can I help you with anything else?

Me: No, thank you.

*Children's Advocacy Center - I really hope this is a favor to them, and not a headache waiting to happen.

Oh the barnyard is busy in a regular tizzy*

2010-03-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

*Hey J-Dub, have you seen "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?" If not, I nominate it for the next movie night!

Is the hill always this green? Or is this a result of last fall's fire?

Whew. Spring is here! I don't feel particularly miserable in the winter, but spring arrives each year like a breath of fresh air to my soul. Every year I ask my kids if it was this colorful last spring. (And every year they roll their eyes at me.)

Spring break, however, has brought a nasty little virus into our home (fortunately, it didn't hit me until Mr. B finished his three days in bed, brought on by a scout camp out that was a little hard on his back and recovering hip). This is not a big deal; we never leave town for spring break, so no harm done. Except that I've been a little delirious the last 24 hours, and my typical wake of chaos has widened and intensified. (You know, things like forgetting to cancel piano lessons, waking Mr. B up at 3am to find whatever I've imagined is scampering around in our bedroom, promising to make phone calls and forgetting 2 seconds later . . . just the usual, but worse.)

Mr. B mercifully took all of the kids to a soccer practice and left me here in the peace and quiet this afternoon. Half an hour ago, I heard footsteps coming up my walk, and someone opened and shut the front door. There was zero response to my timid, "Hello? Hello?" I'll admit I was just a little freaked out, and wondering if I was willing to use my laptop as a weapon (I'm not), and then wondering how hard I could throw a bottle of Ibuprofen at a scary intruder (It's a Costco bottle. I could do some damage).

And then a cute curly blond head peeked around the corner, piano books in hand.

Oops.

Forgot to cancel that one, too. So embarrassing.

Also, BIG thanks to KB2, who came to the rescue when it hit me that I was supposed to be feeding two missionaries tonight. (Mrs. S is laughing at me right now. Why can I never get around to feeding those guys dinner?)

You know what we're REALLY excited about around here? New neighbors! We're counting the days until Yonf and company take up residence around the corner! My 11-year-old figured out yesterday that if she climbs our backyard tree, she can see the bedroom window-to-be of Yonf's 11-year-old. We feel so lucky!

My apologies to those who have already heard me go on and on about this, but I am in looooooove with my new financial software, YNAB (stands for "You Need a Budget"). I've been eyeballing it for a couple of years, after seeing it recommended highly by separate and unrelated sources. I finally bit the bullet last fall and bought it, and it paid for itself within the first month I used it. The biggest difference between YNAB and, say, Quicken, is that in YNAB, you have to decide where your money is going BEFORE you spend it, instead of assigning it to categories AFTER it's been spent. It did take a while to learn the software, but it's been worth every minute. (If you've ever listened to Dave Ramsey, it works on the same Zero-Based Budget idea - give every single dollar a job.) I've been tracking our progress towards our financial goals in a spreadsheet for years now, and the difference since we bought YNAB is indisputable.

Not that I'm excited about it or anything.

Anything you all are excited about?

Good mother.....bad mother.....you decide

2010-03-10T22:41:00.000-08:00

So today, being a good mother, I took my 13 year old to get a haircut. She had asked for one yesterday and I was quick to deliver. Good mother.

Let me tell you a bit about my 13 year old. Or at least our newest struggle. She is the oldest child of parents that didn't really have the Internet in their lives until college. So we were never taught about inappropriate material until we were older. We are learning along with her the problems that can occur when a kid decides to look up something simple on the Internet and comes across something completely inappropriate. The newest rule in the house (about 5 months old) is no Internet at friends houses. The rule was adapted after we learned our 11 year old took some quizzes on facebook that I didn't think were appropriate. So that is our rule. Not too bad. Right? So that is me being a good mother.

Last weekend, the 13 year old was at a sleepover and got online while most of the other girls were sleeping. I found out and disciplined her. I explained that the rule was no Internet at friends houses. Again, I was being a good protective mother right?

Bad mother came out today when I realized how I missed the boat on this one big time! While driving to the hair appointment she asked me if I had ever been to a website (she gave me the address) about fundamentalist LDS. She said her and a friend (a member) went to this website at the library to learn more about it. I figured out then and there that she heard me when I said don't go online at friends houses, but she had no idea why I said not to do it! I was shocked she went online at the school library to learn about it when she should have asked us about it. She doesn't understand some of the dangers of going onto websites that could question her faith or she might come across images that once in her mind she could never erase. We had a nice chat about the exact dangers. It goes back to the infamous story quoted at our recent ward conference about the child told not to go to the corner but does go to the corner and after she is talked to by her mother, the child asks, "What's a corner?" We are just entering the teenage years, I just pray at the end I will be looked back on as the good mother.

I did what any good mother would do and what my sister-in-law swears cures all ills, I bought her a drink at sonic. And her hair looks great!

Get Ready New House

2010-03-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

Dear New House,
Thank you for being around the corner from Mrs. B. We didn't plan it that way but you are the most perfect house and being around the corner from Mrs. B and her girls was just icing on the cake!

Windows-are you prepared to be touched everyday with messy hands? To have noses pressed up against you by little ones as they wait for siblings to return home from school?

Toilet seats-start getting strong now, there will be a lot of standing on you to reach things on the counters.

Floors-I hope you are ready for some scratches. Lots of wheeled toys will be played with on you.

Walls-are you ready to be the walls that house the girls when they go on their first dates? You will be the walls that welcome the kids home and send them off on their own some day.

Kitchen counters-I could never prepare you for what you are about to experience! The amount of food and meals on you could overwhelm anyone. But you also get to be apart of pine wood derbys, crafts, play dough, and my girls making brownies.

Stairs-I can picture now how many times my littlest boy will go up and down you just for fun!

Doors-I'm sure there will come a day when you are slammed by angry teenagers. And days you are closed from a tired mom who needs a break.

Soaking Bathtub-how I've dreamt of you! I can't wait to try you out for the first time! There is already a waiting list for all the kids who want to give you a try.

Backyard-I've got big plans for you! A 12th birthday party pie throwing party, Easter BBQ, trampoline jumping and playing on the play structure.

I'm sure, house, that you have no idea what you are in for! But I promise you it is all good! So don't miss your old owners too much, because if you love us even a fraction of what we feel for you, we will make a great team!

It is true my friends! We are moving! Nothing like having the kids switch schools and going to a new ward to make me face some fears!

It Turns Out . . .

2010-02-17T22:16:00.000-08:00

Ditching the cell phone lasted 2 weeks. I was a nervous wreck every time I left kids home alone. So as of Saturday, I own a phone again, but it's by-the-minute and only people I live with have the number.

Ok, the people I live with, and whoever texted me "happy vday pickles, love dogg" on Sunday. I so wanted to text back, "dude, i ain't yo' pickles," but I also ain't paying per text to converse with Dogg.

My oldest turned 14 last month, which made her of age to attend her very first church youth dance, commonly know as The Stake Dance, last weekend. At the last minute, I was asked to come along (in an official capacity, as opposed to a hovering mother capacity). Turns out that even after 15 years of marriage, I can walk into a Stake Dance and instantly feel insecure and unattractive. (It was as if the semi-gloss cinder-block wall and I had never parted.) I felt a lot better once we busted out the laptop and projector and I got to geek it up a little bit. Whew.

As for the 5K, mission accomplished! I ran most of it, fully enjoyed the lovely company, and was very grateful to have the other KB in my life (KB2?) run with me around the last couple of corners, hollering encouragement (thanks!). I was very surprised at how much I really did enjoy the whole thing (you were totally right J-Dub!), and even I can't believe I'm looking forward to the Pear Blossom 5K in April! Who knew? And who wants to come with?

Kindly do NOT click on that. I've never looked more glamorous.

Last week, I also got to be a small part of a big project that was organized on behalf of some dear friends. It was carried out by a whole bunch of people who dearly love those same friends. It was amazing to be part of it. I absolutely loved working side-by-side with awesome people for a great cause, watching each person contribute their own skills, and knowing bonds were being formed and strengthened. The prevailing mood was sweet and tender, and it seemed like everyone came away with a greater affection for each other and for the project's recipients. I'm so glad I got to participate!

'Night!

It's only Tuesday . . .

2010-02-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

. . . in my time zone, anyway, and here's what this week has brought me:

1. I canceled our cell phones. The original plan was to wait for the contract to expire, and then use a pay-as-you-go plan for emergency calls only. I was already getting giddy about the savings. But it turns out that pay-as-you-go is a spendy little conspiracy that forces you to buy more minutes than you need. LAME. So I figured, why not see how long we can go without cell phones?

I'm here to tell you, this is EASY.

You know, as long as I don't go anywhere.

It's leaving the house that complicates things, because first of all, I have no idea what time it is, and then I find myself thinking things like, "Hmm . . . I should call the school and tell them my cell number is no good," and then reaching for the cell phone I no longer carry. Because I'm that smart. And then I wonder how the school will ever find me if my child is mortally wounded at recess. Then I tell myself that my mom never had a cell phone and we all survived school while she ran errands, which reminds me that one of my errands involves dropping by a friend's house, except I don't know if she's home, and maybe I should call and D'OH!

It's going to be fun.

2. Remember how I got my taxes done early? Somebody tipped off my van, which promptly popped a gasket and began hemorrhaging (did you know that word has 2 h's?) transmission fluid.

Never fails.

I know, I know - be grateful the breakdowns happen when the cash is available. Here's a bit of trivia for you: Kitty litter will soak oil up off of pavement. I have ten pounds of it on my driveway right now. Luckily kitty litter only costs 1/100th of a pan gasket repair.

3. February 13th will mark six months since my dear friend KB told me it was time to suck it up and improve my health. (If you're 20 pounds too big to donate a kidney and your doctor is eying your blood sugar warily and you hate shopping for clothes and you want so much to have a baby, but your body is a little wonky and you have this nagging feeling that you'd better start doing something about it all, DON'T. TELL. KB.) We've been working out in her garage pretty much every weekday since.

You know those big 3-pound tubs of margarine? KB has worked EIGHT of them off of me since August. (Humor me. It's my favorite visual.) Except one of them snuck back on, and I guess KB noticed, because she called me today and told me that she's gone and signed me up for a 5K on the 13th, along with herself and J-Dub. She also tells me I'll be doing one a month from here on out, and that I can walk as much as I please for this one, because it will be my time to improve on.

Running a 5K (or any K, or any running) was never, ever, ever on my bucket list. EVER. But I'm terribly grateful to KB for sticking with me and offering endless encouragement and not allowing excuses. I can't turn down support like that, so I'll let you know how it goes.

4. Luckily, this week has also resolved one of the biggest worries I've had: Mr. B's hip is healing nicely, and he gets to start back to work tomorrow! Which means I don't have to move OR start looking for someone who wants to hire me. Also, WAH! I've gotten quite used to having Mr. B around the house all day, and I've really liked it! But I also like having an income, so I'll just be glad he's headed back.

Oops. It's not Tuesday anymore. 'Night all!

Happy Wednesday!

2010-01-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

I'm walkin' on sunshine, cuz the taxes are DONE DONE DONE, and it only took the last few hours of yesterday and the first half of today! Yippee!!

Had to share a couple of good ideas I've had lately. (I should write a post about all the BAD ideas, too!)

Daughter #3 (if I gave her a blog name, it would be "Pepper") is in the first grade, and really, really doesn't like practicing her spelling words. Torture for all involved. In a flash of inspiration (born of an idea sent to me by my sister long ago - can't find the link now), I poured some salt into a pan, and let her write her words in the salt.

Holy cow, if kids gave out Nobel Prizes, I'd have gotten one that evening. Who knew they'd be so enthralled?

A couple of days later, I was taxiing Pepper and some friends to our house, and I heard the following from the back seat:

"Just WAIT until you get to my house and see what my mom made!!"

(I may or may not have had a self-satisfied thought or two about the time put into homemade Christmas gifts this year, and maybe I wondered which one she was going to show off to her friends.)

And then . . . .

"It's SALT in a PAN and you can WRITE in it!!"

Ah, well. Good enough.

The following week, this idea hit:

Spelling words in dry erase marker on the counter. The kids were all a little skittish about this one . . . every one of them eying me like it was some dirty trick and I was about to start hollering and ground them all. Ouch. But after some encouragement, they busted out enough counter graffiti to put the local gangstas to shame. (95% of it erases, and the magic eraser takes care of the rest.)

And speaking of the counter, I am a big fan of having a bar in the kitchen for many, many reasons, but the kids just CAN'T resist climbing onto it. And then falling off of it. And then climbing back up. All the while, I'm begging them to STAY OFF, and I think I've developed a facial twitch every time I say it.

This idea occurred to me early on, but it seemed a little mean:

If only I had known it would train them to remain at safe elevations in a matter of a day and a half! (Set to stream, not mist.) Score one for the mother! (I have to take what I can get.)

Anybody else have some good ideas to share? (I've hit my quota now for quite some time to come.)

Word of the Year

2010-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

I have a friend from college that picks a word/goal for the year instead of resolutions. I've been thinking about what I want my word to be and I have decided. Are you ready? Prepare!

My goals for the year are:

Prepare better to serve my family meals.

Prepare each night for an easier morning. Clean up the house at night to wake up to a clean sink and a clean floor.

Prepare to some day move. No I'm not making an annoucement. We are NOT moving. However, we have 7 people in a 1400 square foot house. If you do the math you realize we can't live here forever. So this involves me cleaning out my closet and the garage. Getting rid of stuff so when we do someday move I will be more prepared for it.

Prepare my van so that when I go out of town I don't have to spend forever cleaning it to prepare for our trip.

Prepare my body to be stronger and healthier so I don't get sick as often.

Does anyone else have a good suggestion of what I can prepare? Or what their word for the year might be?

Sincerely

2010-01-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Next-oldest Sister,

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Love, your next-youngest sister.

-------------------------

Dear J-Dub,

As a general rule, I detest grocery shopping. THANK YOU for unexpectedly dropping off milk, and saving me a trip!!

Love, Your Calcium-Fortified Friend

-------------------------

Dear Yonf & Mrs. H,

As an exception to the rule, impromptu late-night grocery runs with friends are delightful. Next time we'll get there in time to watch law enforcement do their thing. And I won't forget the milk. And let's call J-Dub, too.

Love, Mrs. B

-------------------------

Dear Bra,

I've kept quiet about you on Facebook, not because I care much either way, but because quite frankly, you're boring. And all the clever responses have been taken.

Thanks for the support, Mrs. B (hmm . . . ironic)

--------------------------

Dear Family,

I hereby request notice next time unexpected company arrives (particularly of the adult male variety) while I'm in the shower, preferably BEFORE I lean my towel-wrapped self out my bedroom door (which happens to be a straight shot from the living room couch) to holler at you.

Love, Grateful for the Towel

--------------------------

Dear Home-Care Supply People,

Like I said, we're done with the hospital bed. Really. Remember how it's in my living room? In place of the OTHER living room couch - not to be confused with the first couch that unexpected company sits on - that is crammed into my bedroom? (What do you mean, I usually put surplus upholstered furniture on the back porch? Who told you that?)

Seriously. Come pick it up. Or I'll turn the kids loose on it.

Love, Please?

-------------------------

Dear Owner of the Large Pickup Truck with Chromed Anatomical Embellishment Hanging from your Tow Hitch,

Methinks the message we're all getting is not the message you think you're sending.

From, Eyes Averted for the Two Miles I had to Follow You.

-------------------------

Dear Muscles,

If I apologize for the relentless abuse you've been subjected to this week, will you let me walk normally again? I DID give you December off, after all.

Love, Ouch

-------------------------

Dear Horses,

I went to a party last month, where we all threw random topics into a hat, and then had to expound on one randomly drawn topic for 2 minutes without saying "Um", "Uh", or pausing. I drew you, horses, and although I was most definitely inclined to say, "UH, UM, PAUSE. I'm outta here," (a la Brian Regan) I took the YONF and successfully discussed you for 2 minutes.

Love, Never Seen Flicka

-------------------------

Dear Person who attended the same party, called your own pager and made a hasty exit right before your own turn, then came back and got harassed into taking a turn anyway, and pulled "Nuclear Physics" from the hat,

I put that one in. Sorry.

From, I Don't Know Anything About it Either

Monthly Grocery Budget

2010-01-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

I saw a tv show today where they were showing the way that coupons work and how you can feed your family of 4 for $50 a week. I started wondering if my budget was way off for my family. So that is where you come in. Anonymously share how much you spend every month on groceries. I will also share anonymously so I can be a part of the fun. Also put how many people are in your family so I compare. Thanks!

And a Happy New Year (of No Fear)!

2009-12-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

"Be it Unto Me" by Liz Lemon Swindle

Well, Merry Christmas! It's a new post, for goodness' sake! (I have no idea how to properly punctuate "goodness" in that phrase. Little help, Liz? Or LCM?)

I have been busy, busy, busy with a whole new experience for our family; a major surgery for Mr. B that has rendered him very physically limited and dependent for the next several weeks. I keep trying to come up with a post about it. I'm sure I still will, but it just doesn't compare to thing happening around me, like:

Mrs. D, who ran her first sprint triathlon this fall. I went with her a year prior to cheer some friends in a sprint triathlon. Personally, I was convinced that swimming, biking, and running for hours on end would NEVER make my YONF list. But Mrs. D was inspired, and began training and preparing. A year later, she not only competed, but took FIRST in her age group AND took 20 minutes off her goal time!!
That same day, Mrs. K entered her first OLYMPIC-length triathlon, and took second in her age group!

(So thrilled for them. Still don't want to do it myself.)

Or how about Mrs. F, who has never been a runner, but trained herself over several weeks, and ran a 5K, beating her goal time, too!

I stand in awe of Mrs. S, who has endured TWO difficult surguries this fall, and handled them both with her trademark grace and poise. The same grace and poise that she showed on Sunday while putting on her first Christmas musical program as our new choir director. She confessed that she was beyond nervous, but if you weren't there, you can take a second now to wish you had been! It was perfect!

My thoughts are constantly on KB, who is out of town for Christmas, supporting her son and his family through their little daughter's recent and sudden cancer diagnosis, with life-altering complications.

And then there's Jenn, who is also in the process of beating cancer. With a big stick, I might add. I guess cancer missed the memo to never mess with Jenn.

How lucky am I, that I get to rub shoulders with all of these people, and so many others who are just as courageous and determined?

In fact, not only do I get to rub shoulders with them, but I find myself constantly blessed by the goodness of others in so many ways!

Our blessings keep pouring in, taking the forms of meals, rides for the kids, phone calls to check on us, company of good friends, favors given exactly when they're needed, and on and on and on!

I can't begin to describe my relief when lovely, lovely Yonf called yesterday and asked if she could come over and wrap presents. I hadn't told a soul that it was the most immediately pressing thing on my mushy mind, and the greatest favor anyone could have done for me yesterday. (And boy howdy is she FAST! I blinked and it was all wrapped!)

My sister called to see what I need, and then let me dump a HUGE Christmas project on my amazing teenage nieces, who then prepared a Christmas gift so amazing that Santa himself couldn't hope to top it.

A friend showed up at my door and handed me a box of items her kids wanted to get rid of. In the box was the EXACT item that my boy has been asking for.

Honestly, I could go on!

A lot of our typical Christmas has fallen by the wayside this year. We didn't go see lights (although we made sure to ooh and aaah for the kids at anything half-way impressive on the way home from Grandma's), and I've played exactly ONE Christmas CD this month. We're squeaking the gingerbread houses in this afternoon, and I'll put our Christmas Card online sometime today, MAYBE.

But (I'll bet you saw this coming) the gratitude I feel for all the kindness that has come our way feels more like Christmas to me than anything we've neglected this month.

Have a wonderful Christmas!!

When Afraid Just Do It!

2009-11-18T21:56:00.001-08:00

At the start of the new school year, I was approached to join a preschool co-op. I was both flattered and afraid. I was flattered because someone wanted me to teach their kids. Friends never ask me to watch their kids. I don't really know why. Of course I always take it personally. Mrs. B has asked me more than any of my other friends, every time she does I jump at the chance because it's nice to know she trusts me with her most precious possession. I was afraid because I'm not a great teacher. I play well with kids but teaching them is scary. Thoughts swirled in my head-what will do for 2 hours? How will they all interact? Can I actually teach them something? What will I feed them for snack time?

So instead of giving into my fear, I gave into my flattery. I've taught them twice now. There are three girls (including mine) and one boy. The first week of the co-op was hard. Their attention span was much shorter than I planned on. However, last week was my second time and it went great! I had plenty of activities that expanded their minds and they seemed to have a great time! One of my best rewards was my 2 year old has sung the nursery rhyme we worked on every day since. About the cutest thing ever!

I'm so glad I decided to just go for it. I have gained a new love for little 2 year olds. I have met someone new. My little girl has gained friends that she talks about almost every day. I have pushed past my fear to do something different and new and have loved it!

What is a fear you pushed past recently and found you liked what was on the other end? (Savannah I know what yours is! Way to go!)

It's Wednesday!

2009-11-04T21:47:00.001-08:00

I'm afraid my 6yo's teacher thinks she's being raised in a crack house, what with the pace at which we complete her homework, the capris worn to school in November, the terrifying rate at which my child reveals information about her home life that, while true, has been slightly skewed, and the fact that I declined to plan a Halloween Party on rather short notice.

I'm also afraid I inadvertently volunteered to plan said party at some point, but I'm afraid to ask.

I'm afraid of how BAD it would have looked had anybody seen the gigantic picture of somebody ELSE'S husband in swim trunks (on a scout trip) that spontaneously appeared in full-screen on my monitor after I unknowingly activated Picasa's screensaver one day last week.

I'm afraid our local scoutmaster needs to stop borrowing my camera for scout trips.

I'm afraid that requiring my 11yo to give up her friendly but hopelessly pungent hamster (even if it was to a very nice dad who sweetly brought her a brand new Littlest Petshop pet in return) was the coldest thing I've ever done as a mother. Even if she did inherit a unscented hamster from her older sister, and even if she had the maturity to understand and accept the situation without tears or argument.

I'm afraid the nice dad is feeding Peanut the hamster to his pet snake right now.

I'm afraid that the gigantic alien robot/vehicle monologue playing in my living room right now is less dramatic than it is laughably cheesy. So, so cheesy!

I'm afraid that 87% off Halloween clearance was more than I could resist.

I'm afraid that even though I want to write a fabulous post about some of the fantastic things that people I love dearly have accomplished lately, I just can't do them any justice at this hour.

I'm afraid this post of questionable quality is all you get.

Ok, and some pretty pictures I couldn't resist taking:

On the bright side, I'm off to bed! Hooray!

PS - What would you have done with the hamster?

5 Confessions

2009-10-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

-I recently told a lie.

-My husband and I deactivated our Facebook accounts and I think it was the best decision I've ever made. He has made dinner more, we have argued less, and I've kept my house cleaner!

-I recently admitted that an old acquaintance who I recently ran into, could take me down if she chose and that it terrified me she must might try!

-I'm trying to stick up for myself more. So on Saturday at the kids' school carnival when an eight year old girl told them they cut in line I told her, "No we did not, we got in line behind the last person in line." I showed her!

-There are certain friends I can't wait to grow old with and others I'm not so sure about. Let me clarify-I recently found something out about a friend that bothers me.

Hooray Hooray!!!

2009-10-11T22:02:00.001-07:00

Mandi is a Bloom finalist!! Yippee!! Go vote for her!

Also, if you want to see some amazing photography & witty commentary, check her out here.

Bloom

2009-10-09T06:25:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning for weeks to tell you all about Bloom! (Somehow the start of school, schedules, a little homeschooling, sports, etc. has made my memory highly unreliable lately. I am not programmed for multitasking, but I'll keep trying.)

But back to Bloom: It's a blog written by two lovely young mothers of excellent Rogue Valley upbringing (with lots of fantastic guest posts), and it's quickly becoming one of my favorites! (also with some fabulous art by my highly talented and awesome cousin, Emily.)

You can read what Bloom is about here. Thus far, I have harvested many helpful hints and delightful ideas. I love the overall feeling of finding joy in creating a home, while keeping it all real. Go read it, and you'll see what I mean.

This week's posts have been particularly fun to read, because they're all about photography, which is, of course, very near and dear to me. You'll just have to go read the whole week's posts, because they are PACKED with fantastic tips and clever ideas for capturing everyday moments.

Incidentally, Bloom is currently running a photography contest (details here) that has been extended until Sunday evening. It's all about capturing moments (simply and non-professionally). I can't wait to see the pix that have been submitted. This is something I've been trying to get better at: capturing moments instead of poses.

So, if you're reading this, you're about to be YONFed! Go to Bloom, read the last five days' posts, and then enter the contest!!

Hey, if we're all reading Bloom, does that make us Bloomers?

Confession Wednesday

2009-10-07T23:02:00.000-07:00

Confession: I'm on a new fertility plan.

I've always wanted to have at least six children, but it turns out my body isn't very good at getting pregnant, and even worse at staying pregnant. Eleven pregnancies have produced four miraculous (and sweet) children, and if that's all I ever get, they're enough.

But for better or worse, here's my plan:

1. Thanks to a true friend who knows me too well and won't accept excuses, I'm a little more fit and a little less round than I was two months ago. I still have quite a distance to go, and am hoping for continuous progress.

2. My garage is housing a whole bundle of baby storage: clothes, swing, bathtub, jumper, crib, basinette, more clothes, exersaucer, etc. With the exception of a few very sentimental items (a few outfits and a basinette my father-in-law and brother-in-law made for me), it's all headed to a much better cause than cluttering up my garage.

3. Every day I discover more and more about how much I enjoy being a mother of older kids (four through thirteen). Believe me, there are many, many perks to this! Imagine, if you will, uninterrupted sleep, coherent verbal communication with all household residents, and only one 5-point harness in the car, which can be buckled and unbuckled by any of three older siblings. Everyone here can get their own drink of water, wipe their own - uh - noses, participate in the job chart, and tidy up their own bedrooms. Who couldn't get used to this?

So there it is: Physical downsizing, baby storage gone, and enjoying my big kids.

I'll be pregnant by the end of the year.

It's Yonf's Birthday!!!

2009-10-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Why Yonf deserves a Happy Birthday:

1. Because she is a fantastic mother to a whole crowd of children. (Patient, intuitive, fun, on top of things, relaxed . . .)

2. Because she hosts Project Nights at her house, and invites me to hang out with her cool peeps.

3. Because she's still my friend, even though as a teenager I may have contributed to a certain amount of misery in her brother's life. (Oh wait. Maybe that's WHY we're friends?)

4. Because sharing a birth month with her makes for extra fun.

5. Because without her Year of No Fear idea, I would have missed out on a whole bunch of memorable experiences.

6. Because my kids are as comfortable at her house as they are at home.

7. Because her kids are as easy to have around as my own. (Actually, easier.)

8. Because she's still my friend, even after I pointed her husband out to the fuzz.

9. Because when have mothering dilemmas, I know who to call for some advice and perspective.

10. Because when totally bizarre and embarrassing things happen to me, I know who I'm going to call and have a good laugh with.

11. Because she's so thoughtful, loyal and perceptive when it comes to her friends.

12. Because she can sail through 5 months of pregnancy without even noticing. (JEALOUS)

13. Because there's always something yummy to snack on at her house.

14. Because she'll deliver a ginormous and delicious strawberry lemonade on a sweltering summer day.

15. Because she is candid, yet kind, with her opinions when she's asked to share.

16. Because she helped her friends mop pudding pies off themselves following the Great Table Collapse of '08.

17. Because she takes very good care of her lucky man.

18. Because for all the time she's been Year of No Fear-ing, I don't think she's chickened out of anything yet!

19. Because she's an excellent seamstress, and not only helps sew aprons for weddings of people she hardly knows, but hosts the sewing party to boot!

20. Because she has a lovely, lovely mother who I've adored since I was about 10 (clearly the loveliness is hereditary), and a charming father who I feared in my youth (see #3) but always liked also.

21. Because she's one of my dearest friends.

Happy Birthday Yonf!!!!

Confession Wednesday

2009-09-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

Confession #1: I've never, ever, ever had my toenails done (until now).

This is Mickie. She sat on the floor for about 4 hours one night last week doing 11 sets of glamorously glittery toes. That's 110 toenails!! I tell you, she's amazing!!

Forty (well, 39 - missed one) toes, as posed by hostess Kay:

Mickie was right. I LOVE them!

Confession #2: I am really bad at enjoying autumn. I love the colors and crunchy leaves as much as the next person, but it's all such a definite reminder that winter is imminent. I dread it every year. I resent all the shoes, socks, and coats required to shuffle children out the door into a chilly car, when mere weeks ago we were sailing out the door for walks in our flip flops. I miss my bare feet and short sleeves. I pine for the sound of sprinklers outside my open window and daylight at 6am. Or even 6pm. And the holidays don't buffer it: they're over and done 10 days into winter.

But the whining isn't doing much to improve it.

So.

My mom used to encourage us, when feeling tempest-tossed, to find three positive things about the situation (you know, Pollyanna-style).

For example: If your 11th grade Pre-Calculus teacher gave you no reason to suspect you had anything less than an A, and then slapped a B onto your final report card and retired before the mailman could deliver the irreversible bad news, thus destroying your hard-earned 4.0 and dashing every hope you ever had of becoming a valedictorian and Benson Scholar with a full-ride scholarship to the only university you ever wanted to attend (you know, hypothetically speaking)(and I hope SOMEBODY played many a golf game in his retirement with a cankered conscience), well then, your father might pull you back from the depths of despair with some counsel like:
1. "Hey, the 4.0 is gone, and the pressure's off. Now you can enjoy your senior year."
2. "Your mom and I are still proud of you, so chill."
3. "Need a hug?"

For the record, it made all the difference. (I love my parents.)

Therefore, three things I can't help enjoying about Autumn:
1. Cinnamon scented everything.
2. The many birthdays and related gatherings comprising the month-long party known as October (oooh! I can't wait!).
3. Wrapping up in quilts made for me by my grandmas.

And Winter:
1. Cold, cold water, straight from the tap.
2. Life slows down, just a leeetle bit.
3. Snow days. Can't beat 'em.

Yep, that helps. (Now I need to work on a list of three good things about what a pain in the rear it is to get four children out the door on time every morning.)

How about you? What's something you're not enjoying, and what are three things that change your perspective?

(12 minutes until October. Let the parties begin!)

If We Had an Award it Would go to.....

2009-09-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Lately when I've been feeling sorry for myself I turn my thoughts to my cousin. He is not too much older than me and is going through one of bravest battles of his life. He has battled cancer throughout his life and most recently him and his wife had to leave their two teenage children in Utah while they travelled to Texas for him to receive a bone marrow transplant. His amazing and brave wife has a blog that details all the wonderful and all the terrible details.

If Year of No Fear had an award for someone who battled on through their fears I would give it to my cousin. A bone marrow transplant takes you to deaths door and then brings you back again. Right now he is in constant pain and doesn't know how he is going to make it. Any day now the marrow will graft to him and he will start to heal. We are all waiting for the day when things finally start to turn around for him. He continues to stay up beat and to hold onto his faith and his love for his family. He pushes his fears aside so he can continue to make memories with his family.

He has been blessed with an amazing wife who continues to be supportive and stay by his side. She constantly encourages him to get up and walk a couple times a day. She is so strong and brave to not walk away when he is in pain but to hold his hand continue to help him in any way he can.

I'm not super close to this cousin, he is older and I only saw him once a year when I was growing up but I have tremendous admiration of him and his family courageously going through this journey. His parents have always been such an amazing example to others. His stepmother's example in a blended family helped shape my relationship with my blended family. They are an amazing family and I continue to hope and pray he will turn a corner soon and start to heal.

I am starting to write an email to them to let them know they are in my thoughts, it is a work in progress. I was almost too afraid to do it because we aren't that close but of course I had to push that aside and continue to write an email.

Update: I started writing this on Wednesday and since then the marrow has started to graft and he is up and walking!

Confession Time: When you are down and out what can people do to help you? visit? stay away? provide meals? call?

Introducing Tana

2009-09-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

From Mrs. B: Tana and I moved to the same high school the same year. Wait. Had you already graduated, Tana? Holy cow, I can't remember! Just a second - I think I have a picture from a dance . . .

Yes, yes I do. And we're both in it. See how I'm not posting it? You're welcome. (Possibly this might have also been a self-serving move. Maybe.)

I also have a picture of you possibly wrestling with Jeremy A. at my surprise 16th birthday breakfast. Remember that one? When in a haze of slumber, I realized somebody had just said, "Hey, what is she wearing**?" (Wait. I'm pretty sure that was you.) And I opened my sleepy eyes to see about most of the ward's youth (BOYS INCLUDED) standing in my bedroom? My mom had arranged the whole thing, fooled me entirely, and then made everyone a yummy french toast breakfast. I love moms.

**A huge, floral, flannel nightgown that was almost certainly handed down by somebody's grandmother. Horribly embarrassing, yet providential compared to what I normally slept in as a teenager.

Anyhow, here's what I love about Tana: She's too funny (ask her about her Twilight Musical), she's up for anything, and she never sits around waiting for fun to come to her; she makes it happen herself! Now if she'd just spill it about the helicopter pad . . .

From YONF: I don't remember life before Tana. I think I met her in my home ward, but I really don't remember! However, what I love about Tana is she loves getting together so for birthdays we always get together for lunch, (mine is coming up soon and I'm thinking Red Robin). Also, she throws great parties. She had a Halloween Party two years ago that Mrs. B and I went to. Tana is halarious and a blast to hang out with! I just wish I could do it more. Plus she is always on the prowl for a husband.....so let me know if you want help hooking her up!

Vital Stats :
Tana Lacy
Network Technician at Qwest Communications
one obnoxious child with 12 different personalities
Medford, Oregon

What's the last book you read?
Everything but Science Fiction. The Alchemist by Paulo Choelho, The Great Divorce by CS Lewis.

Where would you go on your dream vacation?
Italy, Israel, Greece

Do you have a blog? Will you tell us where?
simplylacy.blogspot.com

Tell us one completely random thing about you:
IN a fire, I would save my DVR first.

What is something you've been avoiding that you would love to conquer?
A degree in History

What's the craziest thing you've ever done (and are willing to admit to)?
Is this just a ruse to get me to tell about the hot guy and the helicopter pad? I told you that I wouldn't tell you about it. Quit asking.

What Would You Have Said?

2009-09-10T23:14:00.001-07:00

Why is that confession Wednesday keeps becoming Confession Thursdays? It seems no matter how hard Mrs. B and I try we always get our Wednesday Post out on Thursdays, one day late. Maybe if we change it to Confession Tuesday we will write it on Wednesday and it will be Wednesday Confession once again! Speaking of one day late, I was invited to help direct students on the first day of school this year. I showed up at the school on Wednesday at 2 for orientation, only to kindly be told it was actually the day before! No worries, I got to help anyway.

So today isn't a confession, it's more of a I wish I would have reacted to something instead of sitting in shock. So crazy week this week getting kids ready for school and husband working at least 12 hour days. So to help relax I went to lunch with my mom and the baby. We are enjoying our lunch and the baby was in his car seat, sideways on a chair. I had checked multiple times to make sure he was on there safe, after him cutting his finger badly at church on Sunday and having to take him to a Doctor on a Sunday I was overly protective after that. I kept feeding him my food and playing with him. I had my attention on him the entire time. We are almost done and ready to leave when this lady out of no where who was also eating there comes over and moves a chair behind him and says something like, ok that's better. I sat there and didn't say anything to her. I couldn't figure out what she had done. It hit me and I was in shock. She thought the baby was unsafe! What? Where she was sitting it wasn't like she could see something I couldn't. Why do people do these things? I was so shocked somebody would do something like that, I didn't have a response to say to her and I went out of my way to avoid her when I left immediately after that. So was she rude? Would you do what she did? What should I have said to her? I'm an overly protective mom, my kids aren't allowed to eat when left home alone, I don't let them out of my sight, so really was it important that this lady did this?

And on a positive note, after the baby sliced his finger open I ran him to the bathroom, him bleeding badly. All of a sudden I'm in a panic not sure what to do and this wonderful lady shows up and says she has a first aid kit. She asks what I need. She has Tylenol for the baby to take and she told me to keep it. She had everything for me to use to help the little guy. Then we decide we need to take him in to get stitches and we are trying to figure out how to clean up the blood around the sink and she says she will take care of it. Really? She was a saint! I'm hoping to find out who she was so I can send her a thank you card, she made a terrible situation for me a little bit better. I wish there were more people like her in the world than the woman I met the next day.

Colorado Julie-I consider you one of my sophisticated friends so what would you have done?

Confession Wednesday (ish)

2009-09-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

You're never going to guess what I did last weekend! (Unless you were there. Or I told you about it. So maybe you can guess.)

I took my kids camping! All by myself!!

Sort of. Maybe.

Actually, a whole bunch of families were headed up to camp together, but one family went up a night early. For reasons I still can't explain, I suggested to the kids that we join them (sans Mr. B, who still had to work) and camp for two nights instead of one. They readily agreed.

I LOVED camping when I was growing up, but it was one of the things (along with motorcycles and airplanes) that suddenly seemed less appealing once I had kids of my own.

For the record, I love the outdoors and campfires and waking up in the morning in a tent. I just can't seem to enjoy the massive amount of preparation and the never-ending cleanup that accompany the experience. Also, until this year, we've only had a 6x6 tent for the 6 of us, and I have yet to buy an air mattress that doesn't leak. Happening into a family-size tent and borrowing a camp cot both have vastly improved my affection for camping.

As I was returning from the pre-camp grocery run, Mr. B called my cell to tell me what he had packed in the van for me. Then he said, "I can't tell you how pumped I am that you're doing this!"

"I'm a little stunned myself," I replied.

I'm certain I wouldn't have attempted it without the knowledge that another family would be there (one that included our Home Teacher, no less!). Luckily, one of the few available campsites was right across the path from theirs, and even luckier, that good family helped us with our tent when we arrived in the dark.

I can't deny that I was pretty doggone pleased with myself the next morning when I made pancakes and sausage on the camp stove and set up the rest of our campsite before Mr. B's arrival.

The rest of the families trickled in over the rest of the day and we had a fantastic time. Absolutely worth the frenzied preparation and the truckloads of laundry.

Here's what I've learned in the last 2 months of Mr. B-less and kid-plenty air travel, road trips, and camping:

Beautiful scenery and singing with my kids can make me a little giddy, to the point that I might perhaps run out of gas or go 15 miles past a turnoff. Must pay more attention.
I have fantastic kids (I knew that a long time ago).
I always end up buying way more snacks than the kids will ever eat.
Making memories as a family is a very bittersweet feeling when one of us is missing, and when I'm missing one of us.
I'm beginning to understand what motivated my parents to take a three-week cross-country road trip with 8 kids in a suburban towing a tent trailer 20 years ago. (Not that I'm signing up for that one anytime soon. But I think I get it.)

When is the last time you surprised yourself?

Throwing Things Out-Confession Wednesday

2009-08-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

I got this book from the library, "Throw Out Fifty Things; Clear the Clutter , Find Your Life." It goes through each room of your house and encourages you to throw things away that you no longer use, are holding you down in someway, or just can't let it go. If you throw out 10 pairs of pants it counts as one item. I happened to start reading the book in my bedroom so I promptly went to my closet and finally cleaned out my sock drawer. I hate socks. I wear flip flops probably 364 days out of the year. Why did I have so many socks? I also threw away an older duvet cover that I made probably 10 years ago when I was living in Utah. That cover had more memories associated with it then probably anything I owned. I had moved it around a lot and finally throwing it away did lighten my load. Something that the book said would happen, that throwing things away was a way to clear your mind. Another thing I threw away that I was holding onto for no reason at all was a pen holder on my desk. I probably made it fifteen years ago at a paint your own pottery place. This thing was seriously ugly! I should have thrown it out years ago! I now have my pens in a black mug, not my favorite thing but so much better than before. Again, it feels fantastic now to reach up and grab a pen and I do feel better.

So right now go find something that should have been thrown away but you never did-and let me know what it was! Mom and Beth-I'm anxiously waiting your answers!

In a (large) nutshell:

2009-08-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a BIG summer at our house! Or rather, away from our house!

This summer I embarked on my biggest adventure ever - traveling with all four children, and (sadly) WITHOUT Mr. B (who was there in spirit, but had to work).

I'll just say that overall, it was much easier than I expected. My big kids were tremendous helpers and my little kids were too enthralled to get into trouble. Piloting through San Francisco with a GPS that claims to know where I'm going, but is actually trying to kill me (we call her "Gollum") isn't anything I wish to repeat and I've always hoped I'd never have to get on a cross-country flight with enough fuel in the tanks to tempt a terrorist (circumnavigated by layovers in Memphis and Minneapolis . . . I'm so clever), but our travels together were so entirely delightful that I would be willing to attempt either feat again.

So, I give you 1 mother on 2 trips totalling 3 weeks with 4 kids - in pictures.

Oh yeah - the hypervigilance required to keep track of four kids in busy airports about did my nerves in, and that's with kids who did a great job staying together. A wanderer would have been the end of me.

Trip #1 was to North Carolina to visit my dearest Aunt Beaner and Hunckle Bob. Blogging cannot express what a fantastic time we had, and how much we love our extended family!

Grandpa Camp - does it get any better?

Trip #2 was to Idaho, Utah, and back to Idaho to visit lots and lots and LOTS of loved ones! I drove this one - something I've never done for that distance without another adult in the car. The kids and I had a great time seeing the landscape, memorizing "Book of Mormon in a Minute" (which I made them recite in every home we visited. A 13-year-old's dream come true, I'm sure), and listening to the "Wicked" soundtrack (thanks Jann!) until the little ones begged for mercy.

Swimming at Pineview Reservoir. (What? I can't hastily photoshop a picture of my munchkin-like physique? Sue me.)

After I swung on the rope, I aske my 13yo if that embarrassed her. She said no. Then I muttered that I was going to be very sore the next day, to which she said, "Ok, THAT embarrasses me."

Picnic lunch with our old South Ogden Ward. Holy cow I miss these ladies!!! It was food for the soul to see them all again! (More families came later and I took another picture, but with another camera, so it's not going to resurface for a while.)

Family Dinner in Lehi - I have the BEST family!

Utah has clever graffiti.

Here's Year of No Fear for you: 13 kids and 3 moms at the first $2 Tuesday of the summer at the Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur Museum (read: swarming crowds). Hats off to Lois and Tiffany for braving the crowds so my kids could go!

(This isn't everyone - just all we could collect at the moment.)

Followed up by an evening trip to Ikea with 10 children, none of whom were dropped off at the child care as planned, because it was CLOSED. (Not Ikea, just the child care.) My superstar sister-in-law, Lois, didn't even bat an eye. Ten kids? No problem!

Coudn't pass it up:

THIS is the most annoying toy in the world (it sings in a baby voice and makes indecent noises accompanied by obnoxious music and dancing. If you see one, RUN) that my sister bought years ago on clearance, and then left it with my kids when she moved. I made sure the postman took it to her doorstep, but she made sure he brought it back to me, so I gave it to her kids as a gift from their favorite aunt. About 30 minutes into a 9-hour drive, I noticed my big kids (traitors) whispering, and then from the back seat, I heard the chilling strains of "Booooo-bah."

DIABOLICAL, I tell you! Someone had better sleep with one eye open.

After the third or fourth beautiful new home we stayed in (mostly homes belonging to people who build for a living), I started noticing things like this floating around the car:

Aim high, dear children. And build a wing for your parents!

(No worries Mom - I'll put more pictures on the family blog later on.)

To sum up (because I'm out of time): It's been a FANTASTIC summer! The overwhelming feeling I'm left with is gratitude to know we have such numerous and wonderful family and friends. Every visit was joyful. Every face was a thrill to see. How lucky can you get?

It's That Time of Year Again---Girls Camp

2009-07-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago was Girls Camp. Just like last year I didn't go, it's just not my thing.

However, every year when Girls' Camp time hits I like to reflect on my years there. I like to think about the wonderful girls there that I looked up to. They were beautiful and kind and were so nice to always include me. Maybe that is why today when I talk to the sisters or mothers of these girls I think of them in such fondness because they were so incredibly nice to me when I was up there. They became sisters almost, including me and making me feel good about myself.

I also had some fun memories of Girls' Camp. I had a crazy/fun friend that decided my fourth year at girls' camp that I needed a visit. I was visiting my mom in her cabin, talking away when someone approached me and said I had a visitor. She had a look of concern on her face. I walked down to the parking lot wondering what was going on. I then see my crazy/fun friend and two boys! One was the friend of the other and we were each interested in one of them. We talked for a bit but I could see the eyes of many disapproving adults. But what was I to do? I was shocked they had come and didn't really know how to get out of the situation. It was the talk of the camp! Attention brought on me that made me uncomfortable. But I will never forget my special visitors. Not much later when I returned home one of the said boys became my long term boyfriend. He is in fact getting married this weekend, but that is a post for another day.

So while Mrs. B and my eldest daughter were up braving the elements, I went with my extended family to the coast. And we had a lovely time! I enjoy my family, much more than a bunch of hormonal girls. I always have. However, my family is starting to include a hormonal girl that was in absolute tears and hysterics when a younger sister used her toothbrush recently. Maybe I can just move to the coast......they don't have hormonal girls there right?

So can anyone convince me I should attempt Girls' Camp again some day?

What is the draw that makes you go back again and again?

What is your fondest memory?

Weighty Issues

2009-07-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

Gotta make this quick:

Had a epiphany a few weeks ago: I've been avoiding a lot of things, not because I'm afraid of them, but because I'm afraid that whoever observes me is thinking, "You go Shamu."

Enough already.

You know, I don't plan to be this size the rest of my life, or even the rest of this year (stop laughing - it could happen), but when I started adding up all the opportunities I've passed on in the last 13+ years for fear of ridicule, it made me want to smack myself in the head. I also received some fantastic advice last year at Girls' Camp from the fabulous Miss McD that has given me food for thought about how my issues with my weight will affect my girls down the road. Essentially, it's time stop living around it, and live in spite of it.

Therefore, I give you:

Me on a jet ski.

(Aunt Beaner's very nice neighbor offered to let me drive, but didn't offer to let me drive alone. He's a smart very nice neighbor.)

Sweet Miss S. and me behind a boat (my first time ever, if you can believe that). Lovin' my Advil the next day.

Not my legs, but I looked just like that going in. And even worse climbing on.

(PS - Have I mentioned how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE Girls' Camp? I don't think I can adequately express my affection for it and the women I get to hang out with. It's always over much too soon.)

So, to sum up, if there IS anyone standing on the shore, shaking their head at me, they can take a flying leap (which would be convenient, being at a lake and all).

Shamu having fun!

What I've Been Up To

2009-07-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

I love summer time. I'm starting to realize I get a lot more done during the summer than any other time of the year.

Lately I've been busy working on my fears, both new ones and repeating old ones. Here is what I've been up to:

Conquering my fear of driving long distances. I packed up the kids and took my mom to Eugene to meet my dad. We did great driving up there. My mom offerred to drive some of the way but I wanted to do it myself. The cause was I was so stressed out I must have gripped the steering wheel too tightly and caused major pain in my back, it's almost better 2 weeks later! Anyway, on the way back I was by myself with the kids. I'm proud to report we had a great visit and a ton of fun visiting family and I did it!
Donated blood again! Went today to the Stake Blood Drive. I almost walked out just before I was pricked in the finger but I surpressed the fear and survived another blood donation.
Made a friend dinner for her birthday. The reason why this is a fear is that without fail I always have issues happen when I try to do service and make someone dinner or have someone over for dinner (something bad always happens when the missionaries come over). Last week my husband invited someone over for dinner while his family was out of town. I was making dinner, everything was going great, then I dumped beans down the sink. It clogged up and I couldn't run the dishes or use the sink at all. So after finally realizing I had to fix the issue and some how not be grossed out by what was inside the pipes, I opened up the pipes under the sink. It was nasty! There were nasty, gross beans everywhere. I tried to get a bucket under the pipes in time but there was a massive explosion and there were beans everywhere! So, to help get over the fear of serving others with meals I took a meal to a friend and it ended up being delicious (at least it smelled like it would be.) I tried to simplify and not make the bread from scratch but buy it instead, maybe that helped in the success.
I filed my own taxes! I got a ton of help but it is done! (My accountant had filed an extension so no worries about gettinig in trouble.)

So I've been busy! I've really been enjoying the summer with having all the kids home. Yeah!

Confession Wednesday? My three older kids, ages 13, 11, and 9 want to go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. I'm on board for them seeing the movie but think they should go the next night around 7 or even 8 so they don't fall asleep during the movie but still enjoy the hype of seeing it newly released. What do you think?

It's ok to be jealous. I would be too.

2009-07-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here's what I'm up to:

Flying the treacherous skies
With four children (we'll miss Mr. B!)
With my swimsuit in my luggage

Why?

So I can go play with my Aunt Beaner and Hunkle B and some of my very favorite cousins at COWABUNGA Grandpa Camp Runamok!

(That was last time I got to play with my aforementioned cousins. We're just, you know, posing with the speed limit sign. That might have had a different speed limit 2 minutes earlier. Maybe.)

This, after a very fun weekend with my parents, my siblings, their spouses, and the cutest nieces and nephews you've ever seen!

I love summer!

Adventure in Mommy Land

2009-07-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

From Mrs. B: Yeah, yeah, I know, it's about time we got with the program. We've just been so busy enjoying summer - who has time to sit indoors and blog?

But since Independence Day is this weekend, it only seems appropriate to throw our own firecracker on the blog: Jenn. She's daring, funny, wild, and very involved in every worthy cause you've ever heard of. (Was that you I saw last week at the toenail trim-a-thon to benefit the rare albino groundhog?) She's also an expert on gluten-free cooking and has a bakery (operated from her newly purchased and under-photographed - ahem - home) to prove it. What's not to love?

From YONF: The funny thing about Jenn for me is she knows everyone. She knows people I went to high school with, my neighbor, people in different wards that I thought only I knew! The weirdest coincidence for me was when facebook said we had a mutual friend in common that was in the same stake as me growing up and we had mutual high school friends and Jenn knew her because she had dated the friend's brother. It's just amazing how many people Jenn knows!

Name: Jenn... I'm afraid of what you will nickname me!

Stats: 3 kids, and a husband. I own a gluten free bakery from my home and try to stay sane being a wife and mother.

Last book read: I'm currently reading "Admissions" Crazy story about new york private schools and the things parents will do to get their kids in them! It's HILARIOUS!! Very nanny diaries meets devil wears prada... recommend for light funny reading!

Dream vacation: I can not answer this question.... there are TOO many places!! I would say an around the world cruise with child care and private tutors available at all hours of the day and night. I would want to explore: Europe, Asia, South America, etc and share the joy of the culture with my family.

Blog: Do I have a blog? HELLO! Adventure's in Mommyland at www.sassyshademommy.blogspot.com. I'm also a featured writter on the Modern Molly Mormon blog: www.modernmollymormon.blogspot.com

Random Fact: I'm allergic to seafood, beans and mayo... it's ok because I don't like any of those anyway!!

Things I avoid: Home-ownership which we are conquering right now!! It's a scary process and we're excited to be envolved in it... but BOY do I need a Dr. Pepper!

Craziest thing I've ever done: Since this is a clean blog I won't disclose that information.... besides.... if I told you I would have to kill you... or tickle you 'til you pee's... whichever was worse!

Tagged - 4 things

2009-06-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

LCM tagged Yonf or me, but since Yonf is off being very brave this week (I'll let her tell you about it), I'm it!

Oh, also: Julie, I haven't forgotten your prize. It's in the works!

And we still have more profiles to post, although I'm sure you've given up on us by now. Or maybe you're just reveling in the suspense?

FOUR THINGS:

Four Jobs I have had in my life:
1) Fast Friendly Foto Finishing at Frodsham's (and later, Rocket Photo)
2) BYU Grounds Crew (came with a sweet tan)
3) Lithia Park Grounds Crew (came with poison oak)
4) WalMart Portrait Studio Photographer (thankfully only a seasonal job)

Four Movies I can Watch Over and Over
1) Pride & Prejudice - the slow-moving version
2) August Rush (Jac, we need to do dueling calendars!)
3) Fiddler on the Roof
4) The Princess Bride

Four TV Shows I watch (because Jason has them on. I don't watch much independently. Also, we only get 2 channels currently.)
1) NCIS
2) The Mentalist
3) PBS Masterpiece Classic
4) Monk (online)

Four Places I have been on Vacation
1) Disneyland
2) Oregon Coast
3) Cross-country in the Family Suburban
4) Camping

Four Place I have Lived
1) Medford, OR
2) Ashland, OR
3) Several locations in Northern Utah
4) Wichita Falls, TX

Four Places I would rather be right now
1) Somewhere Tropical
2) Somewhere Mediterannian
3) In size 6 pants
4) At a Spa

Four of my favorite Foods
1) Carrot Cake (no nuts)
2) Steak
3) Fruit
4) Aunt Beaner's Rolls

Four websites I visit daily
1) Gmail
2) Google Reader
3) My sister's funny, funny blog (sorry, it's private)
4) MailTribune.com

For Jill H.

2009-06-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

About three years ago, I called K, who was throwing a bridal shower, and asked how I could help. She asked me to be in charge of drinks. When I asked if that meant juice with Sprite, she asked me to do something a little fancier, like Italian Sodas.

"No problem," I said, and hung up.

And then I immediately and consecutively dialed 3 of the fanciest people I know (Marla, Lesley C, and Susan H, if you're wondering) and said, "WHAT THE HECK IS AN ITALIAN SODA AND HOW AM I GOING TO SERVE IT TO FANCY PEOPLE???"

Thankfully they talked me down off the ceiling and cherry limeade and yes, Italian Sodas were served, but I was a nervous wreck.

Over drinks. I know.

Phone conversation from yesterday:

Me: Need any help with the bridal shower tonight?
K: Yes - can you bring a dessert?
Me: Sure. I can make carrot cake* or strawberry pie.
K: Um, those are harder to serve at a shower. Can you make something like a strawberry torte?
Me: Uh . . . . describe a torte?
(I mean, I've heard of them, but my baking repertoire is very limited.)
K: Ok, just make sugar cookies and put some glazed strawberries on them.
Me: I can handle that.

So I tweaked K's idea, and came up with these, which are based loosely on my mom's famous Strawberry Pie, and which turned out pretty well! See? No panicked phone calls, and Jill H. even wanted my recipe! Progress, I tell you.

K thinks we should name them after us both, since it was her inspiration and my exhaustive labor, but do you think anyone will eat Benniumble Tarts? Or Brumennion Tarts? Suggestions are welcome!

Crust

Mix together:
1 cup softened butter
2 cups flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
Dash of salt

Flatten approx. 1-inch balls of dough and press into 24 mini-muffin cups, spreading dough up the sides of the cups. Bake 11 minutes at 350. Remove as soon as sides begin to brown. Crust will be puffy - flatten it out gently (I used an upside-down lemon juice bottle - the cap was just the right size). Place on cooling rack.

Strawberry Filling

Chop, mash or puree:
1/2 pound of strawberries

Combine in saucepan:
1/3 c sugar
2 T strawberry gelatin
2 T cornstarch
1/2 c water
1 T lemon juice

Boil for one minute. Remove from heat. Cool.

Stir cooled mixture into strawberries, adding as much as you think tastes good.

Cream Topping:

Combine and beat until thick (up to 10 minutes):
1 can sweetened condensed milk, chilled
1/3 c lemon juice
1/4 t almond extract
1 t vanilla

Spoon strawberry mixture into mini-crusts, and top with cream topping.

What I'm Grateful For....

2009-06-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful that I can call Papa Murphy's, that they can have a pizza made and ready to be picked up in five minutes. That I can still feed my family after I caught their dinner on fire.

What are you grateful for on this fine, fabulous Wednesday?

Finding "Our" Song

2009-06-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Over Mother's Day weekend we went to the coast. We shipped out the dog, brought my parents along and managed to pack everything but the kitchen sink. We had a fantastic time! It was so nice to be away! One night, because my parents were to there to hold down the fort, hubby and I went to a newer coffee place in the tiny town of Gold Beach. It had amazing art on the walls but because they were newer they didn't have hot chocolate or Italian sodas. How hard is it to buy club soda and chocolate packets? Anyway, they were having a band there that night. It was three men who were pretty decent actually. It was a great and fun atmosphere and we loved being a part of it. Towards the end of the evening the band asked for requests. My husband loves the song, "Georgia." He wanted me to suggest it but the problem I have speaking up in that sort of situation is if I say something and I'm not heard and then having to repeat it. I never said my fears were justified. So my non-blogging, never read my blog husband decided to YONF me and sure enough before the evening was finished I had requested the song, the band played the song, and my husband loved hearing. I was talking to him saying how cool it would be to be able to request "our song." The problem though is we don't have one. We tried coming up with some, "At Last," was mentioned but I don't think that fits us well. We both love Marley and we listen to it often but I didn't think "I Shot the Sheriff," was a good choice for being our song. So any suggestions? Do you have a special song with your spouse? Help me find one!

De-clutter Continued

2009-05-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, we tackled our collection of VHS movies (thank you, DVD's, for being so much more compact in volume and scant in number). For the record, about 75% of the movies were given/handed down to us, and many of the rest were yard sale finds. I have to REALLY like a movie before I'll hand over cold hard cash for it. As you can see, the whole collection was literally threatening to cause bodily harm sooner or later, and the kids had done a number on it. (Scroll away Mom . . . nothing to see here . . .)

The kids helped sort, stack, re-sleeve, and decide the fate of each movie. (We were surprisingly unanimous in our decisions!)

The end result wasn't too shabby!

Still more numerous than I wanted, but SO much better. I also tossed all the gigantic, hopelessly squashed, plastic Disney Clamshell cases, and made an open-ended sleeve for each movie out of the label and some cardstock. I've always loathed those cases.

I've conquered the hall cupboard (floor-to-ceiling) and the laundry room in recent days. Sooner or later, I have to face my bedroom closet. Heaven help me. However, every cupboard and closet I've tackled has ended up with at least 2 completely empty shelves in the end, so that's a very encouraging payoff.

Also, I found some ideas here today that I'm tempted to try:

Idea #1: Chore Jar

I was already planning to make a "Job Jar" of pesky extra chores (like wiping down cupboard doors or de-webbing the front entryway), but both of my big kids have approved the idea of putting the daily chores in a jar to be randomly drawn, too. I'll let you know how that works out.

Idea #2: Toe-hold Shoe Rack.

I'm not sure I have a good place to put this, but I like it!

Idea #3: Stop with the 35 cups a day already. (You think I'm kidding? I've counted before!)

This idea is from my fantastic friend, Mrs. P (incidentally, she also got it from familyfun.com). Each kid has their own color cup, plate, and bowl, and they're in charge of keeping them washed. When mealtime rolls around, they can't eat until they have clean dishes to eat off of. We've been working on implementing this for several months now. It has required a LARGE amount of vigilance on my part, but it does work. Ikea was kind enough to provide enough colors for my 4 kids plus 2 guests.

So that's how it's gone this week. My yard sale has been unavoidably postponed a week, so I really might get through every square foot of our humble abode. Interestingly, while I've always liked this house and been grateful for it, I'm finding I like it more and more the emptier it gets!

Introducing Laura

2009-05-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

Note: Today (Monday) is Laura's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA!!!

From Mrs. B: Meet Laura! First of all, she's super speedy and was the first profile in. Second of all, I've know Laura all of my life (well, all of hers. Because she's younger), and I can prove it, too:

See? (She's on the right, but you didn't hear that from me.)

Laura and I share the same excellent heritage. Don't you think cousins are one of life's best relationships? They're like bonus siblings, but without the history of hair-pulling and dumping-cups-of-cold-water-over-the-shower-curtain-rod. (Why does that stunt still make me snicker?)

One of my favorite things about Laura IS her fearlessness. She's always trying new things, and pushing herself further once she gets them down. She's also not afraid to let some of her struggles show, which freqently inspires me to conquer things I'd rather hide. Don't you all wish she was your cousin too?

From YONF: I don't know Laura, but I can only imagine that since she is related to Mrs. B, she must be awesome! I don't have any cousins that I am close too, so it's neat to see the closeness between these two.

-------------------------------
Name: Laura

Job: Pediatric nurse on a neurosurgery/intermediate care floor in Portland

Kids: As Ben put it so well, "So far we're not doing so hot."

Spouse: Married to the long suffering Ben for five years.

Last book I read: The Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs

Dream Vacation: One of many is to go to NYC and ride the subway all day. I don't care about

any of the stuff above ground - except tasty food. I really just LOVE the subway.

My blog: http://runlaurarun.blogspot.com/

Random thing: Everything I do seems to be random. I like to wear a cape and tiara (pictured below) at work. And people actually call me Your Highness.

Things I've been avoiding: (Can this be a list?) Marathon, ultramarathon, piecing a quilt that has triangles, knitting something that is not square or rectangle. Working in the pediatric ICU. Communication in general (I have issues with responding to emails and answering the phone.) A triathlon. Cleaning out my storage unit. Making sourdough bread. I think I could list a million things. I feel constantly hamstrung by my own stupid insecurities and my inability to get over them.

Craziest thing I've ever done: Two years ago Ben and I moved to Portland without jobs, having visited only once (three weeks beforehand to pick out an apartment). Luckily we really like it. Also, I started a Tae Kwon Do class a few weeks ago. (Really, I think that is crazier than the move to Portland.)

Profile #1 is on the way, but meanwhile (LOOK AWAY LCM!). . . .

2009-05-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

You know what frightens me?

THIS:

I know what you're thinking: That's disgusting. How do I make it?

(Instructions here)

I couldn't resist giving it a shot. The kids were intrigued, but equally grossed out. Nobody ate theirs. (FYI, the Pita Dad was a huge hit.)

Culinary Adventures aside (wait, not totally aside. Have you tried out http://www.simplifysupper.com/ yet? A month's menu of easy dinners with weekly grocery lists you can print out. Hooray! Now it's aside), my current project is tackling all of the clutter that has crept stealthily into my house behind my back, and preparing it all for a yard sale.

I don't think I qualify as a pack rat, exactly, because I'm not much attached to 99% of it. When it comes down to the nitty-gritty sorting, I get a thrill out of hauling it all away and walking back into a clean, organized room. It just feels like such a huge project that I'd rather pretend it's not all sitting there, waiting for my personal attention. And so it grows.

Project number one was the coat-closet-of-death (you know, the avalanche closet from Looney Toons). We're all a lot safer opening that door now.

Then I took all the board games out of the three different cupboards they had shanghaied:

Would you believe that all but six of the board game boxes were mostly full of empty space under the plastic mold? And that every one of those games fit into a gallon ziploc bag? (Sans boards, which are now labeled and stacked together.)

So now, all of this:

Fits here:

I'm not saying it's the most convenient way to store them, but in this house, saving space trumps convenience. Game night, anyone?

Next, I tackled my sewing fabric, which had spread itself out like some kind of self-replicating organism. I rolled each piece up and rubber-banded them like you see them in fabric store remnant bins, and beat it all back into 2-shelf submission. (I would admit here that I also organized and whittled down my craft supplies and album-destined mementos, but my sisters would smack me for such shenanigans.)

Next up, the gigantic cupboard in the hallway. Towels, sheets, blankets, and whatever clothing got miscategorized when the kids were folding it. Then my closet, and the kids' closet, and on and on until the kids are afraid they're the next thing headed out the front door.

Should be fun.

So what big project are you procrastinating the tackling of?

Oops!

2009-05-11T08:23:00.001-07:00

It struck me rather suddenly the other day that I hadn't ever picked a winner from this post! How lame is that?? So I went to random.org (I considered just asking my 13yo to pick a number between 1 and 14, but the website seems so much more official and unbiased), and randomly selected Julie!

(This Julie)

Hooray! Julie, send your contact info to yearofnofear{at}gmail{dot}com and I'll be in touch.

Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful and helpful comments. It really helped me to direct my focus, and gave me such great information to work with! The workshop went well . . . my favorite part was all the insight I gleaned from the discussions among the fantastic group of women that attended.

One of the best comments came during the discussion about women's tendency to downplay their efforts and successes. We respond to compliments with self-criticism about what we did wrong and why our efforts were sub-par. Why do we feel like we have to apologize for making a creative effort? Why can't we just say, "Hey, not bad for a rookie, eh?"

(One woman pointed out here that it's in our nature to aim high, and we ought to, but we shouldn't give up when our first efforts aren't perfect.)

So then, Grandma Jan (I want to be just like her when I grow up) spoke up and said, "The only response you need to give to a compliment is, 'Thank you very much! I whole-heartedly agree!'"

I've been trying to practice this skill. I always worry that someone will think I'm totally full of myself if I willingly accept a compliment, but on the flipside, when I pay someone a sincere and admiring compliment, I'd much rather see them agree with it than downplay it.

Something else I've been trying to practice since the workshop is creativity in simple ways. You can get a lot of bang for your buck this way, particularly with young children. They're just as impressed with Mystery Utensil Dinner (preparation: drop several cooking utensils into a bag) as they are with a 3 hour Birthday Extravaganza.

Yesterday during church, my 6yo was reading the Friend Magazine, and showed me the instructions to make a Pita Dad:

Time involved: Way less than a normal dinner.
Odds that kids will eat healthy food: Fairly high.
Odds that I will score some Cool Mom points, and 6yo will feel awesome for having suggested it: Pretty good.

(It's on this week's shopping list.)

So thanks again to Julie and all of the rest of you (JeRee and Kathy - I was tickled to see you here!) for your fantastic comments!

Shakin' it up

2009-05-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yonf and I have been meaning to get around to this (we started with Megan, and then fizzled), and Jacque's suggestion reminded us about it! (Also, Jerilyn, I am about to shamelessly steal your brilliant idea from your own previously famous blog. Consider yourself imitated AND flattered.) (And way cool.) (See? Flattered again.) (And imitated with the successive parentheses as well.)

We're sending out the challenge to all of you to join the Year of No Fear! Or, if that's a little daunting, you can go for The Week to Not Freak, or the Night of No Fright, or the Minute to Be In It . . . (I know, I know . . . I'll stop.)

SO. If you're up for the challenge, then email the answers to any or all of the following questions as well as a picture (totally optional), to yearofnofear{at}gmail{dot}com, and we'll spotlight you! (You can be anonymous if you'd prefer, but be forewarned that we will nickname you according to our own whims.)

Vital Stats (name, job, kids, location, etc.)?

What's the last book you read (or favorite book . . . or both)?

Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Do you have a blog? Will you tell us where?

Tell us one completely random thing about you.

What is something you've been avoiding that you would love to conquer?

What's the craziest thing you've ever done (and are willing to admit to)?

Also, if you have a fearless story to tell, we'd love to hear that too.

What are you waiting for? Email us already!

Actually, the humorless receivers of overdue fines (fines on overdue books, not fines that are overdue) scare me a little.

2009-05-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

Why we love going to the library (I'm breaking from our theme . . . I just wanted to share):

First stop: Hand stamps (you get to choose one of three ever-changing designs) from the friendly librarians!

No child can resist climbing into this guy's lap!

Children's courtyard - fully enclosed and easy to observe from the comfy couches!

Our favorite attraction: A plastic canvas dollhouse, made and donated by one Phyllis Pyle, and filled with mind-boggling, genius-inspired details! (A toothpaste cap for a lamp shade? I never would have thought of that!)

If you click these pictures, you can see the details better. The kids love trying to find new things we've missed before, and it holds their attention for a lovely chunk of time!

Oh yeah. And the books, which the kids love loading into their sweet library totes.

Food Storage and Gardening Fears!

2009-04-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

Lately in my ward, (and maybe yours too?) there has been a lot of talk about provident living-food storage and creating a garden. A lot of families are taking it to heart. Two examples are Adventures in Mommyland and me!

Adventures in Mommyland shared with me recently that food storage is something she was afraid of. She is afraid of, "having to inventory it all, rotate, keep pests out, actually keep up with it all and know what I need to do and not get overwhelmed and not waste time and money." I completely agree!

I'm afraid of a garden! The thought of knowing what to plant and when, where to plant it. And I honestly kill every plant that I've ever been given. Except one by an uncle that I got when I got married and one from an ex-boyfriend, what is that saying? If the one from the wedding outlives the ex-boyfriend plant does that mean I made the right choice in who I married? Or that it's time to get another plant from my ex-boyfriend? What if the married plant dies first? It's been almost 6 years, I hope neither one dies! Anyway, so being apart of the provident living challenge in my ward my husband decided to plant a garden. I was terrified! However, he wouldn't let it pass so this week we got started. Our backyard is in complete disarray. It's finally getting its much needed makeover this spring. So we put tomatoes in buckets and hung them upside down. And we used gutters to plant strawberries on the fence! And they are beautiful! Hopefully with my husbands help we will have wonderful food to eat this summer!

Adventures in Mommyland and myself admit we aren't so afraid of these things just overwhelmed. But we also admit that once we got started we are excited!

So confession time: what is something you are afraid of or overwhelmed by that once you got started was actually exciting?

Help!

2009-04-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

I'm preparing a workshop that I've been asked to present this weekend at our Stake Women's Conference, and I'm feeling a little . . . .

Sooooo . . . . . want to help me out a bit?

The workshop is on Creativity, and not the Super Saturday kind. It's about the kind President Uchtdorf talks about here and here.

For example: "You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."

I'm hoping to get some feedback in the comments to help me anticipate and direct the focus of the workshop. (Heck, I'll even toss in a giveaway of something CREATED by me to a randomly selected commenter! I don't know what yet . . . ask me next week. But it'll be good.)

Do you find yourself wishing you were more creative?

What do you think prevents you from attempting creative endeavors?

Does it ever make you feel inadequate, or are you content with where your interests lie?

Do you ever wish people would figure out that you ARE creative, just not in the typically recognized ways?

If you were going to attend a workshop on creativity, what would you be hoping to hear?

(Am I going about this all wrong? )

Anything else you want to share? Please comment, discuss, enlighten . . . . and soon! (I should have posted this waaaay before now.)

And THANK YOU!!

Still Year of No Fear

2009-04-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago in comments under my post, anonymous asked if I'm still doing the year of no fear. I must admit, I'm mostly out of things to do. There is nothing left, besides shooting a gun which terrifies me, that I can do, take a picture of and then blog about it. However, I'm constantly battling my inner fears. Social situations still freak me out. Going out in public with my two little ones and hoping they don't throw a fit I can't handle is a daily struggle. I'm fearful of getting pregnant again. I'm afraid of posting something on this blog and being made fun of or judged. I'm terrified on a daily basis of something happening to a family member. So how do I blog about those fears? Except to continue to go out in public, socialize with people I don't' know very well, and blog about inner feelings I have and just hope for the best.

So anonymous, I'm continuing the year of no fear just not writing about every little fear that I deal with everyday but continue to deal with on a daily basis.

Recently I heard about the new store in town called, "Real Deals." It's a new little home decor store in town. I really wanted to check it out, for something fun to do and hopefully to find a birthday present for my sister-in-law. However, since my parents are out of town the entire month of April, I knew I would have to take my two little ones with me to check it out. So I put the fear of having a toddler running around a store aside and took them both inside. Sure enough all attention was on us, which I hate, when my toddler touched something that created a domino effect and caused two mirrors to fall, amazingly nothing broke. So my fear is still alive about taking my two little ones anywhere by myself, see the daily fears?

So lately I've been feeling sorry for myself and been extremely busy, the reason why this post has taken me over 2 weeks to type and is 2 days later than scheduled. So in light of feeling sorry for myself I can't even come up with a confession except I hate being an adult sometimes. Why do you hate being an adult? There post is done!

DO, a Deer, another Fear

2009-04-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

I'm so late with this post that I'm being harangued on facebook! Some people are relentless!

It's been a whirlwind of a week preparing for our Church Broadway Night, but it all came off fantastically Friday night in a perfect collaboration of the hard work, creativity, and good-natured participation of many, many wonderful people.

As for the Year of No Fear (which went so well that neither of us could give it up at one year), I got to push myself in a few different ways, particularly in singing and (sort of) dancing onstage. This was actually a lot of fun, due to the fact that it was in a group each time, and the whole night was full of people being just as brave (and having just as much fun) as I was. Still, it was something I haven't done since . . . ever? (Unless you count our group performance of "Honey Bun" at a ward "Gong Show" six years ago that was gonged about 25 seconds in when one of the Honey Buns unexpectedly sat in the Bishop's lap.)

I also got to learn a little about the sound system, and tag-teamed it with another person (ok, I mostly clicked "play" and "stop" on the laptop, which I still managed to goof up plenty, but I did learn how to use a few of the 200-ish controls on the panel). What we didn't plan for was the few times that both of us were onstage either simultaneously or consecutively, leaving the sound table deserted. Twice, this required me to go at a full run through two long hallways, which, as luck would have it, had a sub-floor-over-crawl-space construction that made me sound like a stampeding elephant. Awesome. At one point I swerved around what I'm pretty sure was Mrs. G's husband. I'm hoping he didn't recognize me in the dark. (Ok, running in the hallway isn't really Year of No Fear, unless you count the fact that it's generally frowned on. Don't tell my kids.)

One of my favorite parts of the whole thing was helping my dear friend Ms. C tackle her own fear of being onstage! It was an honor to be part of her number and to see her courage! (Ms. C, you were fantastic! Also, Ms. Other C, I have heard your choreography described as BEAUTIFUL more than once, and I concur. PS - my dining room table looks gorgeous right now.)

Several people asked me if I was relieved it was over, and I kept saying that it hadn't been as chaotic as I was braced for. It really seemed like it had gone smoother than the last time we did this. But apparently I was mistaken about the toll it had taken, because:

1. The next morning, I was at a race with my in-laws, cheering for my sister-and-brother-in-law, and as the second-place winner ran across the finish line, they were saying, "That's G.T. - he's in our ward!" And I was thinking, "How cool." It wasn't until they congratulated his wife as she walked by that I realized that I know G.T. too because (a) he's the brother of my good friend Mrs. W, and (b) I took his family picture less than six months ago.

2. At one point as we watched the race, I did a quick kid-check, and realized that I couldn't see my 3yo. I did the spin-around-and-see-if-he's-right-behind-me about three times, and then started to panic and ask my other children and my in-laws if they had seen him, all the while scanning around me in widening circles. Nobody was helping me look for him, and I started feeling sick when I heard my father-in-law say, "Nope, I haven't seen him for a while!" And then I realized they were all grinning at me, because they knew where he was: SITTING ON MY SHOULDERS. (Enjoy that mental picture. You're welcome.)

3. We fed the missionaries dinner last night. After we had eaten, but before the missionaries had given us a message and left, my 10yo pointed out that my shirt was unbuttoned precisely at bust-level. It won't surprise you that I sat directly across from both young men during dinner. No wonder they weren't looking in my direction much.

(And those are just the things that I (a) remember and (b) realized I did.)

So maybe it's just my diminished cognitive function combined with the fun of the weekend, but I totally would have been on board for this as a YONF challenge:

(minus the rap interlude)

Does anyone else think we could pull that off locally?

April Fools Day

2009-04-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'm neutral on April Fool's Day. Growing up my dad would turn off the hot water heater, EVERY YEAR. However, we still fell for it. I always try to come up with something funny to do but I don't know if I've ever been successful. One of my favorite April Fool's Day jokes was one my sister-in-law's friend did in college. She bought 100 gold fish and went to this guys house and filled each glass, bowl, sink, toilet, everything with fish. That seemed so clever to me.

I'm sad to report no one, not even my 8 year old who loves to pull pranks tried to do an April Fool's Joke on me. I called my husband earlier to let him know our bid got excepted for a job that he was very excited about. An hour later he calls me back and says are you sure so and so called and booked? He thought I was playing a joke on him! So that was the extent of my jokes, and it wasn't even a joke!

Too bad my dad wasn't in town to turn off the water!

So what fun jokes did you do today or had done on you? I need some good ideas for next year!

Confession Wednesday: Mental Meandering

2009-03-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

Mr. B and I took a hey-we-have-to-go-anyway-and-it's-our-anniversary-so-HEY-two-birds-one-stone trip up North last week. It was just us and our youngest offspring, who so fully enjoyed having his parents to himself that he chattered the entire 7 hours up without a single snooze (this kid falls asleep on the way home from Wal-Mart!).

Here's a big fear for me (and Mrs. W, too. We had a good laugh.): that I'll die on a road trip, and the Relief Society will show up and clean my bathrooms/closets/under appliances. Or worse, that I WON'T die, and that I'll be lying in a hospital KNOWING they're cleaning everything I missed and wondering what to do with the clutter that is as yet untackled.

We had another passenger in the form of a GPS, who until this trip was named Talulah. Here's the thing: Talulah is bossy and a little unpredictable at times. If we don't pay enough attention to her, she either sulks or gets really demanding. Also, Mr. B has this odd affection for her, and will often take her word over mine. But dang it all, she has to come along because she's the only one who knows the way.

So I renamed her Gollum.

Here's another fear: that I'll take my child to the dentist and find out that his teeth are made of Swiss cheese, even though I've been better with his brushing/flossing/fluoride than with any of his sisters.

No, wait, that actually did happen. Yesterday. Mother of the year RIGHT HERE.

Also, Mr. Swiss Teeth is currently eating these tragedies because nobody else will:

Stupid Twilight (did you hear everyone click away just then?) suckered me out of $2 for nasty tasting conversation-heart wannabe's. (I'm gonna brush his teeth right after. I promise.)

My kids are a little disgusted with me that we're not out of town this week. (They've been good sports about it . . . but when my Visiting Teacher asked yesterday if we were going anywhere for Spring Break, by 13yo said, "NO!" just a little too loudly and bitterly.) So I'm trying my normal Spring Break strategy of fun, free, local activities.

Three years ago, we organized a day of "Cousin Camp," wherein we made & flew kites, drew on all the concrete in a 50-yard radius, ate sack lunches, took a Bingo Walk (aptly named "Walk-o"), and made mobiles out of pool noodles slices.

Two years ago we toured the Fire Station, Harry & David, a Veterinarian Clinic, popped into See's Candy . . . I forget what else.

Last year for Spring Break, daughter #2 and I got a 3-day all-expenses-still-being-paid trip to the Pediatric wing of the local hospital for dehydration and suspicious (false alarm) blood work. Aside from the expenses, it was very relaxing to have nothing to do but entertain a mellow child and order room service. But not so fun for the kids.

So yesterday was library day. Today we're hoping to visit a wonderful family friend who makes exquisite porcelain dolls. I could never get enough of them as a child, and it took all my power not to touch them. If we make it, and if I'm not physically restraining my younger children, I'll take some pictures and you'll see what I mean. Tomorrow is an encore of our Harry & David tour (a huge hit last time - We love you Mrs. F!!), and Friday will be letterboxing and a tour of Wildlife Images. (We were going to tour a toffee factory, but it turns out they put fancy new equipment right in front of the viewing window and there's no more view. Hmph.)

So I've been thinking lately about this post by Mrs. S, about pretending (read the comments too!). And I've realized that somewhere along the way, I've lost the inclination to use my imagination just for fun.

In all honesty, as I've pondered this, I think I had some hidden mistaken impression that if I was imagining my life to be more fun than it is, that it would mean I wasn't happy with my life the way it is. Of course uncovering that realization reveals how ridiculous it is: I can be happy with my life (which I am) and still desire to spice up the housework with a little imagination.

It's interesting that this epiphany would come just days before this conversation with my 10yo:

J (last night as we're getting into the car): Mom! It's the evil south wind! Can you see it in the trees? It's coming to get me!

Me: The south wind, eh? Sound scary!

J (10 minutes later): You know what's sad Mom? As adults grow up, their imaginations grow out. They don't have any anymore.

Me: Wow, that is sad and a little true!

J: Like with the south wind. You just didn't get it.

Me (injured): What? What was I supposed to get?

J: It's the EVIL SOUTH WIND. It's just . . . just . . . .

Me: Just what?

J: Well, if you had an imagination, you'd get it.

Me (5 minutes later as we're getting out of the car): Hey, is THAT the south wind?

J: No, that's a good one.

Me: Like the gentle east breeze?

J: Ugh. No.

So, apparently, I'm REALLY RUSTY at all of this. My goal for this week is to do more pretending. Frankly, I don't have a plan yet, but I'm going to consult the resident imagineers around here and let you know how it goes. According to Mrs. S, it's great for housework, which I have plenty of today. We're having company for dinner tonight (go me!). I'm in charge of rolls and clam chowder, or as Yonf so cleverly put it, loaves and fishes!!

If you're a pretender, tell us all about it! I want to know what I've been missing out on!

Overheard

2009-03-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

There are two things I've recently overheard that had me laughing hysterically.

One was when I took all five kids to the mall by myself. I had the two little ones in a double stroller and as we walked by a woman and her dad? I heard her say, "Oh, another thing about Utah was I never saw anyone with a single stoller, only double strollers." Mind you I don't live in Utah. But what a funny generalization.

The second thing that really had me laughing was hearing my two older girls talking in the kitchen. My 10 year old as she is drawing a picture of a bird says to my 12 year old, "Do you know how to draw a cannery ?" 12 year old says, "I don't know what a cannery is." In complete awe and yet with some disgust that her sister doesn't know what a cannery is the 10 year old says, "You don't know what a cannery is? I've known what a cannery is since I was 6 years old." All of a sudden the 8 year old boy pipes up, "Don't you mean a canary?" Needless to say the 10 year old didn't find this funny. But the rest of us did.

The other funny of the week was while I was on the computer the other night. I almost decided not to post this since I don't find potty humor funny and I don't want anyone to judge me since I laughed so hard I was crying, it didn't help that my husband rewound this about 15 times and I laughed each time. But since this is a my year of no fear blog I decided to go ahead so judge me for laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and I had to wipe my eyes to clear away the tears. So anyway, I tried to find the video online but I can't so hopefully my description will do some justice. My head was down reading something on the laptop so this is what I heard in the background, "Dwayne and Ian were ready to let it rip." Then the sound of a chainsaw. Anyway, not paying attention I took the sound to be something else.

So those are my laughs, there have been many more, it's been a really funny week! What did you overhear that made you laugh?

I'll see to the ink-spotted clothes later . . .

2009-03-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

I have a new favorite household gadget . . . any pen that DOESN'T go through the laundry.

FYI, nail polish remover worked better than rubbing alcohol or magic eraser (although flammable fluids are perhaps not a good idea if you have a gas dryer), but still took two hours of active scrubbing, during which time it suddenly occurred to me that the wording of my last post made it sound like playing with my sister and nieces was the price I had to pay to see my nephew. That's not what I meant at all!

You'd think that would teach me not to post so late at night when my mental capacity is impaired, but then you'd check the timestamp of this post and you'd be wrong.

Just to be clear, ALL of the company was my favorite part of the trip, and I would brave even scarier things than airplanes (like 8-hour drives alone with 4 children) to hang out with them again.

Feel free to spell- and grammer-check that for me.

Random Thursday

2009-03-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

This sweet nephew:

was totally worth four airline flights in four days. I told my sister that I was sure he'd be approved as a carry-on for the return trip, but she wouldn't let me take him. She also says I'm one unattended infant away from becoming a baby snatcher. I have no idea what she's talking about.

It was also worth playing with my sister, and my two adorable nieces, who made me promise about 65 times to "Come back in the summer with ALL your kids and go swimming." The girls were also very skeptical of my ability to drive ("Are you SURE you know how to drive??") and whether or not I could navigate their home town ("Are we lost? I think we're lost. Maybe you should go that way. Did you check the map?") But they made up for their lack of faith by showering me with drawing after drawing of me in fancy dresses.

It was a short trip, but I got to come home to Mr. B, four happy children, and this steal of a Kohl's sale bargain

waiting on my doorstep. It's a steam mop, and I'm in love with it.

For lack of a better question (which is for lack of coherent thought at the current hour), what is your favorite housekeeping/kitchen/convenience gadget?

Late again!

2009-03-05T15:35:00.001-08:00

I always mean to post on Wednesdays but it just doesn't happen sometimes! I've been busy this week. Tickling these cute little feet!

Letting a little toddler play in the water. Which entertained her for 1.5 hours, I finally had to make her stop and take a nap. I'm still cleaning up after it when I found a ton of water in the drawer pullout under the sink.

Watched my son act as a potato for scouts.

Plus I've gotten "the bug" again to have a clean garage. While watching a taped Oprah today about living with less, I decided instead of watching about living with less it was time to start living with less so I tackled my garage again. I'm hopeful I'll be parking in there again by the end of the month!

What have you been doing this week? I know Mrs. B has been baking like crazy!

Create

2009-02-27T18:17:00.000-08:00

If you haven't see it yet, this was just posted on lds.org a few days ago. It's fantastic!

Confession Wed . . . um . . . Thursday: What do you do?

2009-02-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you’re in a public place, and you see a parent maliciously berating a child?

I’m not talking about the exasperated parents who, after the 26th time, say “Put the cookies back on the shelf!” a little sharply. I’m talking about the lady I saw in Winco the other day, who bumped into a man with her cart, and laughed and smiled and apologized. Then, when she was bumped by her 10-ish daughter, she spun around and angrily told her how sick she was of her, and to go wait in the car. Then, for the next 60 seconds, everyone within two aisles heard her loudly telling her daughter that she was an $%&, over and over again.

Or the lady in Wal-Mart who, every time I passed her over a 15-minute span, was telling her daughter that, “I’ve had enough of you,” and “I’m so sick of you,” and “What’s wrong with you?”

I know we all get frustrated with our kids on a regular basis, but no mother has the right to rip a child’s emotional well-being from the one place it should be safe, and beat it to pieces like that. Every time I see it happen, it leaves me physically ill and wondering if I could talk the beast of a mother into giving me her child, whose upbringing, heaven knows, would be a major undertaking after a beginning like that, but who would never again be told she was worthless.

If I knew what to say to those mothers, I believe I could find the courage to say it. I always worry, though, that anything I say will come back on the child after I walk away, as in, “NOW look what you’ve done!”

Somebody told me recently about a mother who had a severely autistic child. If anybody gave her dirty looks while the child was acting out in public, the mother would quietly hand the stranger a business card with a message informing them of the child’s condition. I think it’s brilliant!

Maybe something like: “No, YOU’RE an $%&!”

Or not.

If you printed a card for such a situation, what would it say?

If you were to speak up, what would you say?

Or have you spoken up? And what did you say?

We Suffer From FODIP Syndrome

2009-02-18T20:39:00.001-08:00

Yes folks it is true and I will admit, my family suffers from Fear of Dancing In Public. I came to this realization this weekend which consisted of 4 dances! We went from never going to dances to attending 2 in one night. It started with my husband and I attending the Stake Valentines Day Dance on Friday night. We had never been to an adult one. But the conversation the previous Sunday went something like this:
Me: Let's go out Friday night
Hubby: What should we do?
Me: (Thinking for a moment then spotted the sign for the said valentines day dance) We should go to that!
Hubby: Ok

I'm amazed we both actually agreed to go. And so we went and had a great time. We danced about 3 slow songs and played a fabulous game of catch phrase (Go Girl Team!). Both hubby and I were way to nervous and intimidated to fast dance. Plus I have this terrible memory of when I was a youth and went to a stake dance and tried fast dancing. I remember afterwards thinking, "What was I doing out there?"

The next night my 12 year old attended an all girls dancing birthday party. When I dropped her up I knew she was so uncomfortable knowing that the girls were going to dance all night long. Needless to say when I picked her up she hadn't danced, said she was too tired.

Meanwhile, my hubby was chaperoning the youth dance that night and said the kids were dancing great and he wanted to learn how to dance well.

So after talking to all the kids that know how to hold a conversation, I came to the conclusion that my family has a fear of dancing in public. And public also means in front of each other. So to remedy this we started dancing in our house. Last night it was to some great 80's music, including the fabulous dance from Can't Buy Me Love. Tonight it was 90's music, think Arrested Development's Tennessee. We have had great fun! What's next? For the kids we are planning on throwing our own dance party and for the hubby and I we are planning on taking lessons with Catch Phrase buddies. Maybe I should give these a try-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMf7vA0tYuc. So beware if you happen to stop by house you might find the music turned up loud and lots of dancing and laughing going on-and you might be asked to join in!

Do you have a fear of dancing in public? How did you overcome it? Do I look silly when I try to fast dance?

I have another Fear to Conquer

2009-02-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

How far have you ever driven without your husband and just your kids? I'm embarrassed to admit the farthest I've gone is exit 71, yep 41 miles. Pathetic I know! When I lived in Provo my boyfriend lived in Salt Lake and I was driving back and forth constantly, through the snow, rain, late at night, early morning, everything! I didn't think much of it and enjoyed it. But now that I've got kids I'm fearful of driving far away with them. One time I had to follow my husband in my van all the way up to Salem, we had only three kids at the time. It was long and hard but I had him to follow so not such a big deal. But on the way back we got stuck in a snow storm and I would have freaked out if he hadn't been in front of me.

So anyway, a goal to conquer in part of my year of no fear is to take all the kids up to Eugene for a few days to play with aunts, uncles, cousins, and a grandma. We would have a blast and it's not even that far away! I'm a wimp, what can I say. But I know if I blog about my goal than Mrs. B. will make me do it. Thanks!

Confession Wednesday: Board Games

2009-02-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

My 13yo daughter and I went to a self-defense class at this fine establishment last week, along with several other women and teenaged girls from church. It was a fantastic presentation; I highly recommend it! (They do the class for free, but they accept donations made out to the Dunn House, a local shelter for abused women and children.)

It was a little out of my comfort zone when they had us line up and practice kicking targets held up by the instructors. I also felt just a little strange when I had to grab Mrs. V by the neck so she could practice getting away. (It's a slick move, but please warn me if you're about to throttle me so I can have a moment to remember exactly how it goes.)

They ended the class by having each of us kick a pine board in half, 3 kickers at a time, in front of the whole group. The proper stance requires you to stick your hip out at the kneeling male instructor (who may or may not be somebody you see on a regular basis because he's the father of your daughter's school friend).

The public call for grace, balance, and depth perception automatically activated my OhboyIthinkIhearmymothercalling reflex, but of course the Year of No Fear (as well as a few women in the group who know me too well) dictated that I not weasel out of it. So I didn't. I got it on Kick #2, after shaving my calf (it's ok, it needs shaving) on the edge of the board on Kick #1.

The board actually broke so easily that I suspect I was given a go-easy-on-her-and-give-her-the-pansy-board board. Good call.

In other news, I ate a portion-cupful of Jelly Bellies while driving a few nights ago. See how I'm living on the edge? See?

(Because ambiguously-colored candies are a risky move even in daylight. It's like Buddy and the Jack-in-the-Boxes on Elf, except with flavors.)

FYI: Among other flavors, there were 2 licorice, 3 coffee, and 2 tastes-like-what-electrical-fire-smells-like in one tiny cupful. GROSS! Thank goodness they don't make cilantro ones yet.

When is the last time you were out of your comfort zone, and what did you do about it?

Confession Wednesday: 10 minutes until Thursday!

2009-02-04T23:16:00.000-08:00

I quit my job. That’s my most recent leap of courage.

I don’t know if it’s exactly a real job; photography has been my hobby since I was 16, and friends have been kind enough with their referrals that it had become supplementary income for our family. I couldn’t actually have supported a household of any size on my income alone, but when cars broke down, or when we paid visits to the emergency room, it was almighty helpful income.

But I’m a miserable multi-tasker. I’m all too easily overwhelmed, and I was spending a LOT of time overwhelmed. I won’t go into details (I already tried and deleted three times), but my children were pretty much raising themselves. As a mother, I was feeling like a total, utter failure.

So I’ve cut my business back to just standing trades only (so don’t worry if I owe you pictures!). Turning business away is the hardest part . . . I’m horrible at saying no . . . and it’s usually people I know and love that are asking.

Also, quite frankly, aside from the income that will clearly be missed, I’m going to miss seeing my work on other people’s walls, blogs, and facebook profiles. Call me an egomaniac if you will, but it gives me a little thrill every time.

However, since things have lightened up, it’s just as I suspected: My kitchen is cleaner, I’m sleeping more, and I’m remembering to pick up my kindergartener on time (on the days I can find my keys . . . thanks again for bailing me out Jill!). I can even do math in my head again, which means that I can figure out (and also that I care) whether it’s cheaper to brush the bread dough with egg whites or with butter (here’s my Wednesday Confession: It’s really margarine, and it’s cheaper than the egg.) before I bake it. Did I mention I’m baking bread? Right now?

But you know what else? My little kids are cuter than usual. And the big ones are funnier lately. And my husband is handsome-er, too. I can’t stop watching their faces, and laughing at the sweet things they do. I find myself thinking: What if I had missed this?

And then wincing as I wonder: How much have I already missed?

And then being grateful that we're on a make-your-own-bread-with-margarine-and-nobody-break-any-bones-this-month kind of budget, because not making extra money is paying big dividends.

Seeing my work on someone else’s wall is a little thrill, but being a wife and mother is pure joy.

What's bringing you joy this week?

For Adventures in Mommyland

2009-02-02T10:31:00.001-08:00

This is for you! We didn't think we would be missed! So, I love getting out of town, whether it is for the day or even a few weeks. I love it! This weekend we packed everyone up, sent the dog off to my parents and headed up to Springfield for a nephew's blessing. Blessings are so great. Especially this one, the parents have been waiting for 7 years to have a baby to bless. The baby's mommy is really one of my favorite people. However, we have had our differences in the past few years. She didn't like the way I am raising my kids. I would try to remember that since she doesn't have kids she really doesn't understand that when they are disobeying and break something that is both expensive and full of sentimental value, the typical mother reaction is to be angry. So we have had our differences. She wouldn't be rude to me but we just were close. But instead of not remaining close to her and not putting out an effort when she had her new baby, I decided to hit this head on and kill her with kindness. After the baby was born we went up for the day to meet him. Then I made him a blanket and booties. Then we decided to head up for the weekend. And I'm proud to report it worked! I felt the closeness returning this weekend. She asked my advice on her baby, she shared things with me that were personal, and we had a lot of really good talks. So lesson learned this weekend, when it is easier and non fearful to ignore someone and give into a relationship falling apart, step up and fight to save a relationship that is definitely worth saving! So Confession Wednesday (on Monday-just a few days late), have you ever worked on saving a relationship instead of just letting it slip on by and disappearing? Adventures in Mommyland, I'll be anxiously awaiting your comment!

Amazingly Things Get Easier

2009-01-21T16:44:00.000-08:00

Throughout my year of no fear I've realized that things get easier the more I do them. Two examples for you, one, Mrs. B. hates having people over and yet at a lunch get together on Friday someone made the comment to me, "For as much as Mrs. B. hates having people over she sure does it a lot." So true! Mrs. B. has been on fire lately getting over this fear.

Example two involves me. My hubby and I don't do well apart. He hates being away from the family, brings up a lot of lonely memories for him. I hate having him away, it's hard to be a single parent but also scary at night. Due to jobs recently that have taken him out of the city for work, I've been home alone with the kids more in the last 2 months then in all our years of marriage combined. In November Hubby went to Lakeview for 5 full days. Things went well, the kids were great and we got a lot done. Hubby has now been gone three days, scheduled to return within the next hour, and it's been harder with the kids. But we survived! Something I use to dread and struggle with is now easier since I've had to do it more often. Plus the kids are figuring out that it's different around here and did the dishes today without being asked!

What have you learned is easier to do the more you do it?

Four pounds of powdered sugar later . . . .

2009-01-17T13:43:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard, there is a blog out there called Cake Wrecks that posts hilarious mis-creations of professional cake decorators (or wreck-erators, as they're affectionately referred to.) Totally fun to read! (She keeps it pretty clean, but the commentary, on occasion, leans a tad PG-13. Just so you know.) Sadly, our local grocery stores all decorate conservatively and with skill, and I haven't had the pleasure of submitting a wreck.

On Sundays, she posts "Sunday Sweets," which are cakes done to perfection. Like this one:

So after seeing weeks upon weeks of pretty fondant cakes, and since my good friend Ms. C was having a birthday, I was inspired to give fondant a try myself. This doesn't really qualify as a YONF, since I have a fantastic relationships with cakes. But it was something new for me, and I did serve the cake at a large social gathering in my own home, so there you go.

Attempt #1: The fact that Crisco was an ingredient should have tipped me off. Greasy, shiny, gross . . . even the kids wouldn't eat it.

Attempt #2: I called lovely Mrs. G, since she had mentioned that her 10-year-old daughter makes a good fondant. She readily shared the recipe. (Upon which MY 10yo daughter said, "Oh yeah! I've made that with Little Miss G!" You'd think she'd have stopped me at the Crisco.)

(Ok, she did stop me when I started to make white marshmallow fondant for bee wings, and pointed out to me that I could just use marshmallows. Clearly she's the brains behind the operation.)

It worked much better, but I apparently need to tweak the consistency, since my little fondant bees (the birthday girl is a beekeeper) were clinging to their hive for dear life, despite being quadruple-impaled with angel hair pasta.

Hoping to spare them, I put the cake in the refrigerator, which turned out to be a bad idea when I took it out the next day and the condensation on the cold cake made it all shiny and sticky. Lesson learned. (It did warm up and dry off eventually.)

So there it is. I'm a little proud, even though I'm certain I could have passed it off as the work of a 10-year-old (which I contemplated briefly).

Happy, Happy Birthday Ms. C!!!

I did it! Snakey, Snakey!

2009-01-14T22:47:00.000-08:00

So I had this fabulous idea a few weeks ago that it was time to knock off another one of my fears. I called the best photographer (Mrs. B.) in town to document me touching a snake! I wasn't ready to actually hold the snake, mainly because I could see me getting afraid and throwing the thing. The only place I knew we could get our hands (or finger in my case) on a snake was at the local pet store. Luckily, Mrs. B.'s daughter volunteered to hold the snake for me while I touched it.

We marched a total of 5 children down the petstore and asked to hold the snake. It was called a something python! Doesn't he look scary?

Anyway, the wonderful, non-fearful daughter of Mrs. B. was given the snake and Mrs. B. took pictures of both me and her touching it.

Aren't you impressed? Next we will touch a spider, anyone want to come?

Confession Wednesday-Do you like to hold snakes? Would you have held the snake or just touched the snake?

Confession Wednesday: We need to talk.

2009-01-07T00:03:00.000-08:00

Post-posting note: This post was directed at the abstract concept of the Year of No Fear. Not to Yonf herself, who I love dearly. That was genius on my part, giving them both the same name. For the record, Yonf The Person has never threatened my keister. However, YONF the concept? Just got me again.

Dear Year of No Fear,

You know, this has been fun. Heaven knows I've been braver, more adventurous, less reticent. But it seems like every time I start to blindly trust your wisdom, you BITE ME IN THE KEISTER.

For instance, there was the pie-eating contest. Thanks a lot.

And the DQ Sundae. Boy, wasn't that fun?

Don't forget the happy clerk. I made her day, I'M SURE.

I'll bet you thought it was hysterical when I forced myself onto an airplane last week, and found myself sitting next to a man named ABDUL. That did wonders for my nerves.

It was your fault that I tested my Wii Fitness Age last week in the presence of several teenage boys. Guess how old the Wii thinks I am? That's right . . . SIXTY-ONE. Wasn't that fun when the boys' mother who tested after me (yes, the woman has GRANDCHILDREN) was only 45 Wii years old?

You were watching, weren't you, the other night, when I got that email from Mrs. K? The sign-the-petition-and-forward-this-to-everyone-you-know email that was sent to several recipients? The kind of email you don't mind receiving occasionally because you know the sender had good intentions? I know you were watching, because when one of those several recipients replied-to-all with a seemingly unkind rebuttal, you whispered in my ear that I should be indignant at such rudeness. Who did Mr. Reply-to-all think he was? "Tell him!" you said, "Tell him he can't treat Mrs. K that way!"

And I did. I replied to his email, and told him I thought it was unkind, and embarrassing to Mrs. K, and that she meant well. BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO.

Listen, Year of No Fear, you might have clued me in that I was chastising Mrs. K's VERY OWN FATHER. And I know you were giggling at me the whole time, because I think you knew that Mrs. K was going to call me the very next day and schedule a photo shoot of her family, which includes her father. You know, the one I got all high and mighty with. That I now have to meet face to face.

Hilarious.

And my last hope, that he would somehow not connect Mrs. B the indignant emailer to Mrs. B the photographer, was dashed when he replied to my email, and post-scripted it with his anticipation of the upcoming photo shoot. Did you have anything to do with that?

You and I need to reach an understanding here. I'll keep being all fearless and venturing outside my comfort zone, if you'll stop HUMILIATING me on a regular basis. (Maybe I'll use fewer all-caps words, too.) Is that too much to ask?

One more thing: Nice try, with the attempt to get me to snow camp. I know you'd have had me on a sled, or tube, or some related instrument of death before I could have blinked. Thank goodness the scouts are camping the same weekend and somebody has to stay in the warm, dry house with the children.

I'll be wearing these:

. . . which were dropped anonymously on my doorstep a few weeks ago, after I posted about my frozen toes, with a note that said, "What is a friend for if not to warm each other's "soles." (So delightful! I love them!) Good intentions, lovely outcome. See how it works?

Love,
Mrs. B

Anybody else have a good story about kind intentions gone wrong?

Confession Wednesday: "We have reached cruising altitude. You may now pry your fingernails off the armrests and stop screaming."

2008-12-30T23:01:00.000-08:00

I'm going to close out this particular Year of No Fear by flying. In an airplane. (Shudder.)

(Technically this isn't a true Yonf, because I've done it before, but I REALLY, REALLY would rather avoid it.)

I know, I know, flying is much safer than driving, yadda, yadda, yadda . . . I just can't seem to get past the fact that if my car breaks down or leaves the road or is side-swiped by another vehicle, I still get a fighting chance. In an airplane? It's all over.

But I love my sisters enough to brave the terrifying skies so I can be with them for their respective big days.

Dear Mr. B, If I don't make it back, please don't marry anybody prettier or skinnier than me. Or anybody that keeps up with the laundry. Or the dishes. In fact, just don't marry anybody. Love, Mrs. B.

Are you afraid of anything that doesn't seem to bother anyone else?

The Annual Christmas Ornament Exchange

2008-12-24T16:15:00.000-08:00

I have previously mentioned a popular ornament exchange here in town that I avoided for years. The pressure was too great-bring a beautiful ornament wrapped perfectly that everyone will want. I had a friend one year who brought an ornament and was very embarrassed when some comments were made reguarding the size and color of the ornament. So out of fear I never went to this party. Fears of the party-bringing an ornament, people I don't know, attention on me when I pick an ornament, and worrying that somehow I would make a fool out of myself. Last year as part of my year of no fear, I went to the ornament exchange with Mrs. B. I spent a few weeks finding the perfect ornament and trying out a bunch of different recipes to bring, which led me to try these fabulous s'more brownies (to die for but I decided they were too messy for the event). I ended up taking a great wooden angel and swedish meatballs. I had a fabulous time! I had a great ornament that was well received, not knowing many people wasn't a big deal, attention on me was minimal when picking a very popular ornament when it was my turn and no big deal, and I didn't embarrass myself, not even once. I vowed to go back the next year.

Here is the ornament I got last year (it even lights up):

2008 Ornament exchange rolls around and I decide my mom needs to come (not to hold my hand! Just for fun!) so I go twice-once in the afternoon and once at night. I used my mom as an excuse to go twice, but really I wanted to go twice. What happened!? I was no longer afraid of something that I was afraid of for so many years, instead I was excited and anxious and I will even admit I had a hard time sleeping the night before because I was so exited! And this year the ornament exchange didn't let me down. I had the best time!

Here are some pictures of the ornaments I got this year:

So the moral of my story is I'm so grateful that I decided not to let fear win last year and that I attended the ornament exchange and attended this year too!

Is there any other holiday parties you look forward too each year?

Fa-la-la-la-follow-up

2008-12-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to say I really appreciated all of the thoughtful comments on the whole Christmas letter issue. My mind was finally made up by this:

(That's not my mechanic or my car, but that's exactly how my mechanic was looking at my car when I was wishing I had a camera with me earlier this week. My dad, who was with me, had a camera phone, but it refused to operate. In fact it has only taken one picture ever: of my handsome husband. My theory is that the camera feels it can do no better, and refuses to put up with inferior subject matter.)

Anyhoo, to those of you who wished for me to stamp my season's greeting, thank you for sacrificing so I can have power steering and fuel pressure back.

Also, Christmas Project night was OODLES of fun! I've mentioned before that I hesitate to invite people over because it sends me into a VERY uncharacteristic OCD cleaning frenzy.

Once, years ago, I was frantically cleaning house prior to a visit from my parents. My across-the-street neighbor called me and said, "I can see you through the window. You're cleaning your toaster?? Your parents' love for you will NOT be affected by the state of your toaster, which quite frankly is easier to replace than to clean. STOP IT NOW!"

(JQ, I miss you.)

So I'm just here to report that yesterday I did NOT freak out, did NOT deep-clean, and even went to a *movie yesterday afternoon, leaving myself less than an hour to finish preparing. (I DID have to force myself not to think about the appearance of my carpet, the cleaning of which has also been sacrificed to recent automotive events.) Thanks to all that came - I thoroughly enjoyed each of you!

Highlights included:

Watching Staci & Jenn wrap and transport this gift without tearing any paper

Having my cinnamon rolls compared to Krispy Kreme donuts. (Jerilyn, do you remember the time you wrote a news story for the high school paper, and "donuts" got misprinted as "dobuts?" It still makes me giggle.)
6 layers of 3 different colors of paint that all dried to the same color as the vinyl waiting to be applied to the board.
Really, all of it!!

* The movie, after much pleading from our resident 12-year-old, was Twilight. What a mother won't do . . .

Now I'm off to Michael's to buy more paint!

Christmas Time -Wednesday confession

2008-12-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

I got to do the unthinkable today. I went shopping by myself! I don't know when the last time I did that was. I was able to hit 4 stores and buy everything I needed for the Ward Christmas Party on Saturday 6pm (the more the merrier) in an hour and a half. Is that impressive or what? I was very proud! It was fun too! I'm going along my way at Costco and I hear the most beautiful Christmas Music. I look around and I can't see where it is coming from. Finally, when I'm checking out I see the Eagle Point High School Choir singing at the front of the store. It was beautiful! I'm not sure if it was the wonderfulness of being alone or the beautiful music but all of a sudden the Christmas Spirit hit me. It started to feel like Christmas, the cold weather no longer seemed like a hindrance, the crazy traffic was no longer annoying, and I no longer felt overwhelmed with the Christmas Party, Christmas presents, and kids. My mood was lifted and I enjoyed the singing to help me feel like Christmas is coming.

Confession time: Has the Christmas Spirit hit you? What caused it to finally feel like Christmas for you?

Answering Yonf's wish #8

2008-12-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

I've decided to ~~copy Jenn's idea~~ follow Jenn's example (thanks!) and have a Christmas Project night at my house, too. Come this Thursday anytime after 7:00 and bring a project to work on or presents to wrap. Or don't bring anything and come anyway!

Tag! YONF's Turn

2008-12-16T08:55:00.000-08:00

8 favorite TV shows:
1. Survior
2. Amazing Race
3. Gray's Anatomy
4. Seinfeld
5. Life
6. Cheesy Lifetime Movies (Especially Christmas ones)
7. How I Met Your Mother
8. Numbers

8 books I recommend:
1. The Notebook
2. Three Weeks With My Brother
3. The Choice
4. The Blossom Street Series5
5. Babywise
6. To Kill a Mockingbird

8 things that happened yesterday:
1. My baby slept through the night! Yea!
2. I needed the lesson taught in Relief Society (I need to improve my attitude)
3. I watched the Survior Finale, pleased with the results
4. Ate quiche that my husband made, very good!
5. Felt like I was running around with my head cut off trying to get things ready for Ward Christmas Party
6. Took a fabulous nap
7. Baked bread.
8. Made reindeer food with the kids to give to my niece and nephews

8 things to look forward to:
1. I have a nephew being born any day now!
2. Christmas!
3. Christmas break-we all get to sleep in
4. The hopes of a possible vacation
5. Spring
6. Rejoining the gym
7. A break from dr. appointments
8. Tamales on Christmas Eve

8 things on my wish list:
1. A clean house longer than 5 minutes!
2. A clean garage!
3. A new wallet
4. New clothes
5. Scene It-Seinfeld Edition
6. A vacation!
7. PF Chang's
8. A girls' night out

8 things I love about winter:
1. When it snows and I have no where to go
2. Watching the kids play in the snow
3. Hot cocoa
4. Stews, soups, and all kinds of warm foods
5. Driving around looking at Christmas lights
6. Christmas Parties
7. Snuggling in my favorite purple blanket
8. My husband is home a lot more!

8 people to tag (that is, if they wish to be tagged)
Mrs. B tagged all the people I know that have blogs!

Eight

2008-12-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by the ever-delightful Mandi.

8 favorite TV shows:

I Love Lucy
The Cosby Show
The Muppets
(The theme here is either ANCIENT HISTORY or NERD ALERT.)
But also:
NCIS
and . . . um . . .
Moving on . . .

8 books I recommend:

The Scarlet Pimpernel
Mrs. Mike
All of Jane Austen's (Thanks Marla)
Jane Eyre
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (no, really)
(Technically that's more than 8)

8 things that happened yesterday:

Wild bargain shopping spree at Kohl's.
Ate fish tacos for the first time - yum! (Except the cilantro)
Sampled a Milk Bordeaux at See's - also yum!
Grocery run with my 3yo.
Ice cream with my 5yo.
Blushed again at my Friday-night charades attempt at "Elf."
Saw a teenaged acquaintance in the mall and forgot that grownups aren't supposed to greet adolescents in such settings. Especially not grownups that publicly confess a love of The Muppets. Received a hasty, barely audible hello as said acquaintance passed.
Saw a tweenaged acquaintance 10 minutes later, forgot again, got the same results. Will I ever learn?

8 things to look forward to:

Next Sunday's Christmas program
Post-Christmas family events!
All things Christmas
Warm weather
January slow-down
The box of Clementine Cuties in the kitchen
Sleeping
My new steam mop that's on a UPS truck somewhere east of here

8 things on my wish list:

Slippers
Warm socks
Winter dress boots
The return of normal circulation to my previously overheated year-round-flip-flop feet.
New cooling racks
August Rush
Motivation & energy to declutter
This little gadget

8 things I love about winter:

Cold tap water
Holidays
Snow days
Hot Cocoa
Random 65-degree days
Clam Chowder
Rosy cheeks
Christmas lights

8 people to tag (that is, if they wish to be tagged)

Jacque
Yonf
Jill
LCM
Christy
Savannah
Kathlene
Jenn

Confession Wednesday: To stamp or not to stamp?

2008-12-10T13:02:00.000-08:00

I've been wondering for months now: Would it be tacky to create an online Christmas letter this year? I've mailed out letters for several years running now, and I'm always excited when everyone else's cards, letters, and pictures start rolling in each December. But this year I haven't been able to bring myself to buy the stamps yet.

For the record, I would strive to create a good online letter: pictures, music, attempts at wit that I'll agonize over and rewrite many times, etc. I'm adding a poll to the sidebar, because I really just can't decide what to do. But since I'm investing our hard-earned funds in a new monitor for the homeschool computer today, I know which direction I'm leaning.

At least that's the way I'll lean until the mail comes at 3:00 with more stamped Christmas cards and the guilt kicks in.

Would an online creation (in place of a stamped letter) bug you?

Wednesday Confession: Facebook Etiquette

2008-12-03T10:43:00.000-08:00

I've been a "member" of facebook (mom-go to facebook.com to see what this is) for quite awhile. My sister-in-law challenged me to join, she also challenged me to start a blog, Thanks! I'm still trying to figure out the etiquette of facebook. For example, who do you invite to be your friends? I'm constantly exclaiming to my husband, "200 friends, how can so and so have 200 friends?" Do you just request everyone you've ever met? Where do you draw the line?

I did an experiment today, I was at the eye dr. for my daughter's appointment. While there an old high school friend came up to say hi. I've been to the eye dr. a lot, between daughter and myself and never has this old friend been so friendly. I found her on facebook a few weeks ago but decided not to request to be her friend because I wasn't sure how we really left things between us years ago. She is one of those high school friends that was tons of fun and made me do things way out of my comfort zone, she was hilarious! But after high school I went away to college and we never really connected as friends again. So my experiment-I was very friendly today and now I'm curious to see if she requests me as a friend.

So my etiquette questions about facebook-
1. Do you just request everyone you've ever met to be your friend?
2. What do you write in the "what are you doing right now" field?
3. How often should I comment on someone's wall?
4. What's up with poking people? Should I do that?

Mrs. B and I were having a race to see who could post first today-yeah I won!

For Julie

2008-11-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

I’m fully fed up with this lame-O billpay

It’s in serious need of a fixee

But I felt ‘bout as big as a guppie fillet

After yelling at not-her-fault Trixie

The end.

YIPPEE!

2008-11-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

My wonderful, resourceful, timely, FANTASTIC mother just emailed me Aunt Beaner's garbage letter!

Browning-Ferris Industries
1955 Oakland Road
San Jose CA

Dear Sanitation Engineer,

We never are sure just what time you will come,
So just to make sure, we were up with the sun.
(As a matter of fact, it was sometime before.
We beat the old sun by an hour or more.)

'Twas chilly, of course, for we'd turned down the heat.
But dauntless, we put shoes and socks on our feet.
(Or he did, at least, it was his turn this week,
I pulled up the covers and went back to sleep.)

Or tried to; you see, it was awfully hard
With garbage banging around in the yard.
After he'd set them all out, one by one,
He know that the job, although cold, was well done.

I sent him to work, and the kids off to school.
(We do this on Wednesday, each week, as a rule.)
The cans on the street, we gave nary a thought,
We knew you would take them...Alas! You did not.

The truck came and went, yes, to everyone else's;
The Campbells, the Paces, but not to ourselves's.
Their can were all empty, their refuse was gone.
Our cans were full (and they'd been there since dawn)!

They were not too heavy. I tested them, sure.
I lifted them easy, as light as they were.
With only two houses this side of the street,
Why did you leave out our garbage this week?

Sincerely,

(Mrs. B's Aunt Beaner)

THANKS Mom!

Confession Wednesday: Congenial Complaints

2008-11-14T22:28:00.000-08:00

This is my dear Aunt Beaner, trying out the "Bumper Car Room"
(a low-ceiling-ed access room that's being outfitted for grandkid adventures).

I was trying to pay a bill a few days ago, and I was having trouble with the website for the company who wanted my money. I called customer service and explained that they shouldn't make it so stinkin' hard for ME to give THEM money. Maybe not in the kindest way possible. I mean, hello, I'm not aggressive enough to be flat out rude, but I spoke irritably enough for my conscience to flare up (because it's not Operator Trixie's fault that the website is stupid), and then I had to apologize so I could think straight again.

Then I thought about my Aunt Beaner (love you Aunt Beaner!). In addition to the fact that she bakes heavenly homemade bread, raised some of my favorite cousins, can sing her parents' high school's song, lets me visit whenever I want (and with as many children as I can bring), loves to tell a funny story, emails me all the time, and shares my nickname (that's one of my favorites, also a shout-out to Kathlene-a-Bean!), she also is a master of words. And a peacemaker. Years ago, she combined the two and penned a witty complaint (in verse) to her city sanitation department, who had forgotten to collect her trash, maybe more than once. If memory serves correctly, she received a sincere apology from management and her own special trash-pickup. It's family legend now.

I was trying to emulate Aunt Bean when I sent the following letter to my then-local Wal-Mart several years ago:

Ode to the Commode

As I was shopping in Wal-Mart today,
Enjoying low prices galore,
My young offspring told me her bladder was full;
I had ten seconds, not one bit more!

I whisked her up quickly and ran at full speed,
Desperately begging her, "Wait!"
I zigged through the sporting goods, zagged through the toys;
Crying, "She must urinate!"

Soon we arrived at the Ladies' Room door
In just slightly less than a wink;
But Oh! Our poor noses! For as we went in,
We smelled the most hideous stink!

Quickly we realized the source of the stench;
For all over counter and floor
Were puddles and garbage and T.P. and mud;
Alas! I had seen it before!

I warily opened the door of the stall
And what awful sight met my eyes?
Smeared on the toilet seat there was what's known
(In my house) as Diaper Surprise.

But what could I do? In my arms was my daughter;
I would not; could not put her there!
Despairing, I held her out over the toilet
As she did her deed in mid-air!

I humbly beseeched of an aproned employee,
"This bathroom's not fit to be used!"
She asked me to tell the cashier at McDonald's
Who stared at me, fully confused.
(Note: There was an in-store McD's by the bathrooms)

Now please understand I've been living for years
And all of that time, had a bladder;
But Wal-Mart's facilities rank 'neath an outhouse
On any John Cleanliness ladder.

You'd do well to try out the restroom at Target;
They clean every spot, vast or tiny!
They've pleasant aromas in spite of their purpose;
And all of the porcelain's shiny!

In closing, I ask you, please keep the john clean;
For next time it's foul, please be sure
My money, my daughter, and her little bladder
Will frequent a tidier store.

For the record, Wal-Mart's reaction was a phone call and advice to use the bathrooms by layaway, since they get less traffic. Bravo, Wal-Mart. (But they did like my poem.)

What you deserve to see, here, though, is the work of the master. I asked Aunt Beaner if she would supply her garbage poem for blogging, and she couldn't locate it (she's building a home, and has a lot of stuff in storage), but she sent me this delightful composition instead.

July 21, 2004
Dear Longs Folks,

Your ad came last week -- it was very inviting,
With Dreyer's ice cream at a price most exciting!
As soon as I saw it, I knew right away
I'd be visiting Longs down on East Mono Way.

I went Tuesday morning... but when I got there
The freezer was out. And the shelves were all bare!
"But don't give up hope," I was told with a smile.
"It soon will be fixed... it's down just a short while.

And ice cream again will be there on display
For all who are willing the dollars to pay."
I visited Longs the next morning, but no...
The shelves labeled 'Dreyer's were empty. And so

I traveled back home without ice cream in hand.
(And we really do think that Dreyer's is grand!)
I tried other days. In fact, four trips I made.
But what I was seeking was never displayed.

The freezer was fixed -- of that I'm aware,
For frozen confections were stacked up in there,
Including some Dreyer's Ice Cream packed in pints.
But never the one and three quarters quart size.

The week is now past and the sale price passe,
But since I was out doing errands that way,
I thought I would check on the freezer once more.
And, WOW!!! It was full from the top to the floor!

Perhaps you can tell me the reasons retail:
Why advertised Dreyer's boycotted that sale?

See what I mean? Aunt Beaner's a genius! She's also proof that you can make your point without making a scene. Let's face it - everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes those need to be pointed out, but nobody wants to be publicly raked over the coals.

What's a creative way you've dealt with an uncomfortable situation?

(Also, what rhymes with "Trixie" and "billpay"?)

Confession Wednesday

2008-11-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

My confession: I read a girl's blog that I knew in college. I don't plan on ever letting her know. However tonight it paid off, she had this posted:

"Just saw this on Brandis' blog and HAD to pass it along. Something about something on Oprah, but as a result, snapfish is giving away FREE photobooks ($30 value) if you click here http://www2.snapfish.com/info18 ! You have to do it in the next 48 hours...as in, have it finished and ordered, SO HURRY HURRY!"

Vinyl Admonition

2008-11-08T00:02:00.001-08:00

I woke up cranky Friday morning. (Must crack down on the 3yo who tossed and turned in my bed for 3 hours prior to dawn.) When I dragged myself out into the kitchen, my mood did not improve. I had been absent the night before,and would you like to know what to my wondering eyes did appear?

A container of blackberry jam covered in . . . well . . . blackberry jam.
Cheese, garlic, syrup, and pancake chunks in the tub of butter.
8 dish cloths used to wipe up globs of who-knows-what . . . not a single one rinsed out.
Various remnants of all of the above caked onto the counter.
Two open bread bags.
Pancake confetti on the floor.
17 dirty cups (only 6 people live here)

I'll spare you the details of my ~~cyclically catalyzed~~ mature and rational response. Suffice it to say the demon mother emerged, banned the entire family from the kitchen, created job security for the future therapists of America, and then slunk back to her cave to sulk.

Later in the day, I went to a local Christmas Craft Fair, and spotted this little gem:

Stupid demon mother.

Hiding Under the Table Confession Wednesday

2008-11-04T18:53:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite shows on TV is “How I Met Your Mother.” The dialogue and storylines are unique and witty. I find myself laughing outloud when watching the show. On Monday’s episode it had the main character and his friends hiding under a table at a restaurant to avoid coming face to face with his former fiancé who dumped him at the alter just weeks prior. Talk about something I would do! The hide under the table part, not dumping someone at the alter! Except I wouldn’t hide under a table at a restaurant because it seems too dirty and germy, but I would hide!

All the characters under the table talk about who they would not want to have walk through the door because of it would awkward and uncomfortable. It was either past girlfriends, someone they had made fun of in high school, or in one characters case it was her father.

I started thinking about who I would “hide under a table” to avoid. Two people came to mind. One is a woman I’ll call Renee. When we moved to Medford from Ashland we had them over a lot. They became pretty good friends. They were really fun to play games with and made us laugh so we hung out a lot. Unfortunelty, things started going south quickly.

To make a long story short the problems started with Renee and her husband making us dinner that I couldn’t eat because of my ulcer and left the kitchen a huge mess, the dinner involved cutting up veggies and they didn’t even throw away the remnants. Now that I write this years later it sounds petty, but seriously this was just the beginning. From there we just stopped clicking as friends and Renee kept coming on strong so we came up with excuses to stop seeing them. They finally got the hint that things weren’t working out. It led to a nasty Christmas Card a year later from Renee, making things even more uncomfortable. If I ran into Renee today I wouldn’t know how to explain how I acted years ago. I’m embarrassed by how the friendship ended but at the same time I had to get out of the friendship. I felt taken advantage of more than once and just didn’t feel like it was a good thing for me to be apart of. I hadn’t had that kind of thing happen before and I haven’t had it happen since, it was just a weird friendship that wasn’t good for me.

The other person I would avoid, and in fact have avoided by turning around and walking the other way is an ex-boyfriend. Mind you we are on speaking terms, well emailing terms. But he was a very serious boyfriend that while the relationship didn’t ended badly it was definitely a very sad, depressing breakup on both ends, we jus didn’t want the same things and both had a hard time admitting and accepting it. When I ended the relationship and told him I was moving back to Oregon, from Utah, his words were, "I'll help you pack and drive you home." Now he has a new girlfriend, somewhat serious, and I think that if I saw them around town I would hide under a table to avoid saying hi. I'm just not there yet.

I’m realizing if I ran into either one of these people I would have to conquer my fear of saying hi and actually confront them. Wish me luck!
Confession time:
Who would you “hide under a table” to avoid?

Long-winded Confession Wednesday

2008-10-29T01:01:00.000-07:00

Just a few things I've been enjoying lately:

Fiddler on the Roof

This is one of my very favorite movies. Does anybody else remember life before VCRs? Every so often, my mom would say something like, "Hey guys, this movie called 'The Sound of Music' is going to be on channel 10 this Friday, and you can stay up to watch it! You're going to love it!" We'd pop a yellow-tupperware-bowl-full of popcorn and spread out the blue bedsheet (no buttery popcorn off the sheet, please). It felt like Christmas. My kids, on the other hand, have been exposed to these movies since they were knee-high to Jane & Michael Banks. While pushing a grocery cart with a 3-year-old belting out, "SOOOOO! A NEEDLE PULLING FRED!" is a hoot, I still wish they could experience seeing the classics for the first time on magical Friday nights like I did.

That's how I first saw "Fiddler." It's fantastic. If I made a list of my favorite movies, it would be in the top 3. We watched it with the kids the other night, and it gets better every time.

My new Peru Hat (do they have another name?)

A birthday gift to accessorize my typical outfit of my orange top, green jacket, and orange Ecuadorian purse. (I do believe I've warned you that I'm fashion-stunted, and my favorite clothes are those that fit well, don't wrinkle, and are already in my closet. That the shirt and purse match is purely coincidental.) It's unbelievably toasty. Totally worth the hat hair afterwards.

(See me YONFing myself by voluntarily posting pictures of moi?)

Camille Fronk Olson

She's a Professor of Ancient Scripture at BYU (Yonf was in her class back in the day!), and was a speaker at Time Out for Women in Portland last weekend. TOFW is a mini-Women's Conference put on by Deseret Book, with several speakers and a few musicians. We were invited to submit questions for a post-lunch Q&A session with the presenters. The program has this picture of Camille Fronk Olson:

It caught my attention because it seemed a little dated. It was. She looks quite a bit different now - very stylish, and wearing an ORANGE top! After pointing it out to the friends I was with, and in an attempt to get a laugh out of them (the sentiment was sincere, however), I submitted the following on my Q&A card: "Sister Olson: Your bio pic doesn't do your fabulous good looks enough justice. Can I take a new one for you?"

We missed the Q&A session (we were at the Saturday Market in downtown Portland, acquiring Peru Hats), but when I got back, I was informed that they had indeed read my card. Out loud. To Camille herself, along with 1800 women in attendance. I immediately broke into a ~~sweat~~ glisten. Her reply was that she was waiting on a new cut and color first. Somebody (I can't remember who now) suggested that since it was break time, I should work my way to the front to meet her. The thought did not help my composure, but YONF required that I comply. Of course she was lovely and, lucky for me, laughed at my audacity, and then probably noticed the painful irony that it took 2 cameras and 4 shots to get a decent picture of the moment. But don't we look lovely in our orange duet? (See my peru-hat hair?)

Mary Ellen Edmunds

Another presenter from TOFW. Witty, fun, laughed heartily at her own jokes . . . I enjoyed her immensely, and jotted down in my notes that she seemed to be channeling this woman, who I also enjoy:

Pumpkin Carving

I perpetually procrastinate purchasing pumpkins, so I was thrilled when we were offered the surplus from my aunt's preschool pumpkin patch!

The day we had planned to carve pumpkins was a down-to-the-minute marathon from sunup to sundown, and by the time I had dragged my gang (sans father) to the church to carve with other families, I was beyond fried and feeling a little bitter about my day. As I walked away from the van, a pumpkin under each arm, a full bag over my shoulder, and a shoeless 3-year-old clinging to my back like a spider monkey, I realized I hadn't locked the van. In the 2+ months we've owned the van, the keyless remote has only successfully locked the doors once, and I wasn't in any position to put anything down and get back into the van. Sending a vague plea heavenward, I hit the button on the remote dangling from one pinkie.

Clunk: The doors locked. Would you believe me if I told you it was downright uplifting?

Then, within seconds of our grand entrance, this good man abandoned his own pumpkin, plonked my barefoot son down next to him, and helped him carve his pumpkin without a bit of effort from me.

The evening was a delight. The only that would have improved it would have been in if LW's pumpkin had actually fit over his head. So close, but he chickened out when it became clear that his nose would go in, but likely not come back out.

This little guy

On the list of things I'm NOT enjoying: Cilantro. Blech. But here's a cilantro salad (gah) for Jill to feast her eyes on:

And because I was tagged by the inimitable Savannah, here are some blogs I've been enjoying as well:

Tidbits from the Tremaynes

Mandi has a fantastic knack for chronicling her life through stunning pictures and clever commentary. I understand she also keeps a lively tempo when she plays hymns on the organ - who doesn't love that? She also recently calculated how much it cost to feed her family for a day ($13.47), including "Candy yoinked from the bag for trick-or-treaters: .19."

Laura's Blog

Laura is a night charge nurse at a children's hospital, and she goes to work in a cape and tiara! Remember the part in "It Could Happen to You" where Rosie Perez and Bridget Fonda have both won the lottery, and Rosie goes on a shopping spree, but Bridget only buys herself a jar of roasted peanuts and she looks like she could die happy? That's Laura - she revels in the little things. She's also one of my favorite cousins, and it appears that my daughter has a little thing for her husband.

Tag rules here, since this post approaching epic length.

What have you been enjoying lately?

Wednesday Confession: What makes you a good mom?

2008-10-22T20:24:00.001-07:00

I was a good mom tonight (lately I feel like that is a rare occurrence!) Like all kids, mine love to work in the kitchen and help out with dinner. Since I was almost finished cooking I asked if they wanted to make brownies (something they love to do and can do mostly by themselves.) Sure enough they had a fabulous time and we all enjoyed the end result!

Confession time: What is something you do that makes you feel like a good mom?

Happy 21st Birthday Mrs. B!

2008-10-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Here are 21 memories and fun facts about the fabulous Mrs. B.

1. I remember when I was around 10 years old my mom saying how wonderful Mrs. B was, it took me over 15 years to become her friend and find out my mom was right.

2. Also when I around 10 I thought Mrs. B was cool because she would wear a hat on her head and have a pony tail out through the back.

3. She is a fabulous photographer!

4. She makes the best cinnamon rolls in the valley.

5. She is a really good friend!

6. She always has the funniest experiences happen to her. She is one of those people that I am constantly saying, "That would only happen to Mrs. B!" And sure enough she had one of those this weekend involving her comment about a presenters hair being read among thousands of women. (This led to a year of no fear moment that she will have to post about later.)

7. Can fix any computer problems!

8. Non-judgemental-I have never heard her say one judgemental thing about anyone!

9. She always makes me laugh!

10. She is always giving her services to others, either photography, babysitting, baking, sewing, she loves helping other people!

11. She has more friends than anyone I know!

12. She loves her family!

13. She says her prayers everyday, even if she falls asleep while saying them!

14. She is always doing fun stuff with her kids!

15. She is always involved in something, roadshows, friends birthday parties, she never sits around doing nothing!

16. You can ask Mrs. B anything and get an honest answer!

17. My 10 year old put it best one day, she said I love going over to the B's house because you never know what you are going to find! This is the best compliment to get from a 10 year old!

18. She knows how to have a good time! Either a pie eating contest, a Brian Regan party, out to lunch with the ladies, or an IKEA trip up in Portland.

19. She makes me a better person by being her friend.

20. Rumor has it she loves her husband and had a smooching session behind a van at IKEA.

21. She is so clever! She comes up with great gifts like: "Tools for a Veteran Mother" which includes: a scraper (pancake batter on counter, melted crayon in dryer), name tags (to the get the kids name right the first time), and duct tape (sewing kit)! (The fact that she thinks of me as a veteran mother means a lot to me too.)

Happy Birthday Mrs. B!