I came to a new conclusion on Sunday. Probably one of the best yet for my year of fear. I worry to much! I worry about everything! There have been many nights I haven't gotten much sleep because I worry too much. I worry about money, kids, husband, business, parents, friends, the house, the future, the list could go on and on. I know that worrying is bad, but it is in my blood! If you think I sound like a worrier you haven't met my dad and brother!
So now that I figured this out what will I do about it? To stop worrying would be a major overhaul on who I am. What will I think about all day and night if I don't allow myself to worry? Well I will tell you, nothing! It has been a fabulous few days where every time a worry creeps into my head, no matter what time of day, I tell myself that worrying doesn't do any good and I am not going to do it. I have found my thoughts filled with positive, wonderful things.
The worst part of worrying is the "what ifs" which get me no where. Case in point: I've been dreading my oldest starting 7th grade, I had a terrible 7th grade year and I didn't know any other kind of 7th grade year could happen. I could write an entire post on the terrible 7th grade year I had. I've been worried for at least the summer months, if not longer. What would it be like for her? Would she be sad? Lonely? Overwhelmed? Hateful? Angry? I've been worrying all summer. So yesterday she starts school. Since I no longer worry I thought about her often during the day but not worried about her just curious what she was doing. She came home a completely different child. I think I picked up the wrong one from school! She has struggled with attitude issues all summer with me, moped around the house often and didn't engage much with the family. She said she had a wonderful first day and didn't stop talking all night. She apologized when I casually mentioned please don't leave your shoes on the pillows. This morning she happily put away the clean dishes, cleaned up additionally around the kitchen, made her lunch, cleaned up after herself and left with a smiling, happy attitude. What is going on? Is it the week she spent at grandma's and realized I wasn't so bad? Is it my attitude-more happy, less worry? Is it her, where she changed from something else? So far 7th grade is shaping up to be her best year ever! I won't worry about why she is so great-I'll just enjoy it!
Confession time: Are you a worrier? What do you worry about? How do you deal with your worries?
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Confession Wednesday-Worry, Worry!
Posted by Jeri Hazelton at 7:49 AM
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7 comments:
I have the opposite problem: I should worry more! I am a chronic avoider . . . when things get too big for me to handle, I just pretend they don't exist. While this keeps me from getting too worked up, I don't recommend it. My poor husband will ask me things like, "What should we do about a second car since my truck is permanently broken down and my job requires me to drive?" And he'll get replies like, "Uh . . . I dunno . . . have you seen the nail clippers?"
Which reminds me . . . I'm weeks behind in my work . . . and my fingernails look a little jagged.
What a wonderful story. That could be a lesson in the New Era or Ensign. I hate to worry and fret but I still do sometimes. Until I had some hair fall out. Then I realized I like my hair more than I like to worry. So I try to remember to think "Peace". If the Lord could calm a huge sea and the winds just by saying "Be Still." Then surely, I could calm my worries by thinking, "Peace" and I get to keep my hair!
Yeah, I worry/think about the what if's all the time too. It doesn't occupy all of my thoughts, but a lot of them. It usually only stresses me out if it's something I can't plan out or fix. If there's planning I can do, then I don't worry, since I enjoy planning things so much! The things I can't plan I try to let go, but it is HARD and I'm not always successful...
I am a constant worrier. I had a huge post all about the "what ifs" last month. Why, because they are constantly on my mind. I worry about bills, the kids, how badly am I damaging them, will they remember me as a nice mom, or just a yeller. What if my husband gets this new job? How will we live apart for two or three years. Ahhh, all this commenting is making my worry more. Maybe I should just go to bed, but no, I have work to do!
I worry a lot too. I'm constantly wondering if I'm doing the right things and how I can better plan the future and be a better parent, but even though I have some BIG worries right now, I have realized the Lord will help me through them. I've also taken on a more live life type of attitude. I realize I'm not getting any younger and sometimes I just need to stop thinking about all the what ifs and enjoy life and trying new things. It's never going to be that perfect time to do some of the things I've wanted and I just need to bite the bullet and do it.
I am not much of a worrier, that's my husband's job. We do joke in our family that daddy's gray hair (at the ripe old age of 35) is because he worries. I have a worrying daughter. I tell her figure out what's the worst thing that could happen, figure out how you would deal with it. Anything other than that wouldn't be as bad, right?
My husband left the garage door open early one morning when he went to the gym. Some punks stole some things out of the garage while I was inside sleeping. It was mostly just junk that they took, but since then I've been paranoid about the garage door being left open. This was three years ago.
Even to this day, I'll be at work, completely engaged in what I'm doing, and suddenly my head will jerk up and I'll think, "No one is home right now. Is the garage shut?" I have to fight the urge to drive home just to check.
A wise man once told me that worry is a "conserved quantity," meaning that the amount of worrying doesn't ever change, but the things we worry about do. I guess since I don't have to worry about being eaten by a saber-tooth tiger or dying from polio, all I have left to worry about is my stupid garage door.
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