Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Confession Wednesday: YONF Me and Accepting Help

In a previous post I mentioned how I was ready to accept some challenges, some fears to overcome. Those that left a comment obviously know me well and were able to come up with some good ones. Here is a follow up to those comments:

Cricket: I loved your suggestions! Being the first is something very hard for me to do. I recently was the first to tell someone I liked their outfit, they were surprised (either that I told them or that someone noticed.) I want to keep doing this, I want to keep being the first! Great suggestion!

Anonymous said: "What about mending a past relationship. Is there someone out there whom you no longer speak with, for whatever reason, that you have been thinking about lately? Now, I know you're married so I'm not talking about a past boyfriend but a good friend who you maybe think about from time to time that you have had a falling out with. Maybe this is the month that you should call and renew that friendship."

To be honest I was afraid that whoever anonymous is was thinking I need to renew their friendship. I thought long and hard on this one, I couldn't think of anyone! If you had asked me a year or so ago there were some people that I needed to renew a friendship with, and am proud to say I did it. Best decision ever. I'm still thinking on this one and seeing if there is someone that I'm overlooking.

Julie's suggestion was:
Julie said... I think you should hold a tarantula. Mean I know. I don't think I could do it. Yuck, just thinking about it is creeping me out!

JULIE! I'm saving this one for when I get to see you again! Maybe I shouldn't say that, then you will avoid me so you can avoid the tarantula!

Christy said...
Hey, I've got one. I overheard you at church saying that you didn't want a list going around for either your shower or dinners,not sure which one. I wasn't really listening in, really, I just sort of caught some of the conversation. But I remember you saying that you don't want people to feel obligated. How about you change your mind on that and let them pass around a sign up list. I have learned this past couple of weeks that taking help is awesome, for everyone. I always so "no thanks" when they ask if I need help out with my groceries but lately I have been saying "yes, please" and it really is a help. Also, I told Darren that I would love help with Ryland while Chuck was at scout camp. I usually say no because I have that feeling of I'm the mom, I should be able to do this on my own. but I am learning that accepting help isn't saying you're weak, it's just saying that yeah, I'm not superman, I do need help every once in a while. Think about it. Plus, I bet there are lots of people who would love to make you meals or bring your son a gift but wouldn't have the chance unless a list was circulated at church.

This suggestion was very good as well. And Christy will be proud to know that I have since said I will take the meals the ward has to offer. Which was hard for me to do! But this is the topic of my post, asking and accepting help when it is needed an offerred. Mrs. B and I are both terrible at accepting help. So in preparation for posting today I said yes to help today when I really didn't want to. I am hosting a Relief Society Bread Recipe exchange at my house tonight. One thing I love about hosting these is it makes to do small projects around the house, such as getting rid of a clutter area. So I love it! There were a few things I needed to do around the house today, my mom offered to help. My first thought was "no, I'll be fine, I can do it myself." But because I was planning on posting about this today I accepted her help. Not only did we get a ton of stuff done but we also had fun doing it! Plus I had time to play with the kids this afternoon and type this post!

Mrs. B is having surgery on Monday for her eyes. It is a "good" kind of surgery but none the less she will be laid up for a week and have sunglasses on for quite a few weeks. Just like me she is struggling with accepting help. So I YONF Mrs. B to accept help, and for her friends who read the blog to not let her say no!

Blogging friends~confess if you have a hard time accepting help and if you've overcome it. Also, how can we help others to accept our help when they say no?


Tana said...

I think I used to have trouble but I have realized that I am not a superwoman. If someone offers to help than they needs some blessings otherwise they wouldn't be prompt to offer you the help. So with saying that, I will be over to help Mrs.B with something. I could wear my leg warmers and cook you up some rice-o-roni!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, I just ignore their protests and bring something over. If I'm really on the top of my game, I bring something they can just freeze if they don't want it that day.
How about accepting help and having it backfire when the RS pres says the ladies in the ward who are having babies are more important than a seriously ill child and that you have had too much help anyway. Horrified, you go back and check and in the last 24 weeks, they have brought dinner 7 times....This during weekly hospital visits and people insisting you need help!
Sorry about the soapbox. Talk about making you reluctant to accept help.
Tana's right, why deny someone some blessings?

Savannah said...

Sometimes it just too easy to say "No thanks." isn't it? But it's just as easy to say "Sure! That would be great!" I struggle with this too, but I've been working on it. Sometimes its hard to get your spouse on board though. Any ideas?
And to Mrs.B: I am ready, and excited to help you in any way you need! : ) Even if that just means brining over yummy Harry and David stuff and chatting! My place or yours?

Julie said...

I do have a hard time with this, but i have tried to change my thinking a bit. I think we are often quick to want to serve others, but we forget that we need to allow others to offer service to us as well. When we went through that whole collapsed lung thing, I went ahead and said ok to people that wanted to bring in meals and it was actually really nice to have the help! I have a friend that will call up whoever is in need and say something like, "I'm going to make you a meal and bring it over. Does Thursday or Friday work better?" This way she doesn't even ask them but finds out when they could use it best. Laundry and my dishwasher, strange I know, were always no zones for others. I like them done my way, but I'm making progress. You can now touch my dishwasher, and even if I do rearrange things later-you'll never knoew!

Mrs. B said...

YONF, you sly dog! But you're right. The logistics of the whole thing require that I accept a lot of help. I'm so lucky to have so many fantastic friends!

Tana, bring on the San Francisco Treat! Your legwarmers will fit right into my 1985-themed home.

Anonymous, how awful! I'm on your side - your RSP was WRONG.

Savannah, if you regularly provide meals of questionable quality for your husband, he'll be much more receptive to outside help. Or so I've heard. I'll enjoy seeing you, Harry, AND David! (But you most of all.)

Julie, I don't mind a bit doing someone else's laundry, but I'm with you when it comes to mine. That's one thing it's REALLY hard to let go of.

Who thinks we should have a girls' night out when the sunglasses come off? ME!! ME!!