Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Confession Wednesday: Mental Meandering

Mr. B and I took a hey-we-have-to-go-anyway-and-it's-our-anniversary-so-HEY-two-birds-one-stone trip up North last week. It was just us and our youngest offspring, who so fully enjoyed having his parents to himself that he chattered the entire 7 hours up without a single snooze (this kid falls asleep on the way home from Wal-Mart!).

Here's a big fear for me (and Mrs. W, too. We had a good laugh.): that I'll die on a road trip, and the Relief Society will show up and clean my bathrooms/closets/under appliances. Or worse, that I WON'T die, and that I'll be lying in a hospital KNOWING they're cleaning everything I missed and wondering what to do with the clutter that is as yet untackled.

We had another passenger in the form of a GPS, who until this trip was named Talulah. Here's the thing: Talulah is bossy and a little unpredictable at times. If we don't pay enough attention to her, she either sulks or gets really demanding. Also, Mr. B has this odd affection for her, and will often take her word over mine. But dang it all, she has to come along because she's the only one who knows the way.

So I renamed her Gollum.

Here's another fear: that I'll take my child to the dentist and find out that his teeth are made of Swiss cheese, even though I've been better with his brushing/flossing/fluoride than with any of his sisters.

No, wait, that actually did happen. Yesterday. Mother of the year RIGHT HERE.

Also, Mr. Swiss Teeth is currently eating these tragedies because nobody else will:

Stupid Twilight (did you hear everyone click away just then?) suckered me out of $2 for nasty tasting conversation-heart wannabe's. (I'm gonna brush his teeth right after. I promise.)

My kids are a little disgusted with me that we're not out of town this week. (They've been good sports about it . . . but when my Visiting Teacher asked yesterday if we were going anywhere for Spring Break, by 13yo said, "NO!" just a little too loudly and bitterly.) So I'm trying my normal Spring Break strategy of fun, free, local activities.

Three years ago, we organized a day of "Cousin Camp," wherein we made & flew kites, drew on all the concrete in a 50-yard radius, ate sack lunches, took a Bingo Walk (aptly named "Walk-o"), and made mobiles out of pool noodles slices.

Two years ago we toured the Fire Station, Harry & David, a Veterinarian Clinic, popped into See's Candy . . . I forget what else.

Last year for Spring Break, daughter #2 and I got a 3-day all-expenses-still-being-paid trip to the Pediatric wing of the local hospital for dehydration and suspicious (false alarm) blood work. Aside from the expenses, it was very relaxing to have nothing to do but entertain a mellow child and order room service. But not so fun for the kids.

So yesterday was library day. Today we're hoping to visit a wonderful family friend who makes exquisite porcelain dolls. I could never get enough of them as a child, and it took all my power not to touch them. If we make it, and if I'm not physically restraining my younger children, I'll take some pictures and you'll see what I mean. Tomorrow is an encore of our Harry & David tour (a huge hit last time - We love you Mrs. F!!), and Friday will be letterboxing and a tour of Wildlife Images. (We were going to tour a toffee factory, but it turns out they put fancy new equipment right in front of the viewing window and there's no more view. Hmph.)

So I've been thinking lately about this post by Mrs. S, about pretending (read the comments too!). And I've realized that somewhere along the way, I've lost the inclination to use my imagination just for fun.

In all honesty, as I've pondered this, I think I had some hidden mistaken impression that if I was imagining my life to be more fun than it is, that it would mean I wasn't happy with my life the way it is. Of course uncovering that realization reveals how ridiculous it is: I can be happy with my life (which I am) and still desire to spice up the housework with a little imagination.

It's interesting that this epiphany would come just days before this conversation with my 10yo:

J (last night as we're getting into the car): Mom! It's the evil south wind! Can you see it in the trees? It's coming to get me!

Me: The south wind, eh? Sound scary!

J (10 minutes later): You know what's sad Mom? As adults grow up, their imaginations grow out. They don't have any anymore.

Me: Wow, that is sad and a little true!

J: Like with the south wind. You just didn't get it.

Me (injured): What? What was I supposed to get?

J: It's the EVIL SOUTH WIND. It's just . . . just . . . .

Me: Just what?

J: Well, if you had an imagination, you'd get it.

Me (5 minutes later as we're getting out of the car): Hey, is THAT the south wind?

J: No, that's a good one.

Me: Like the gentle east breeze?

J: Ugh. No.

So, apparently, I'm REALLY RUSTY at all of this. My goal for this week is to do more pretending. Frankly, I don't have a plan yet, but I'm going to consult the resident imagineers around here and let you know how it goes. According to Mrs. S, it's great for housework, which I have plenty of today. We're having company for dinner tonight (go me!). I'm in charge of rolls and clam chowder, or as Yonf so cleverly put it, loaves and fishes!!

If you're a pretender, tell us all about it! I want to know what I've been missing out on!

Monday, March 16, 2009


There are two things I've recently overheard that had me laughing hysterically.

One was when I took all five kids to the mall by myself. I had the two little ones in a double stroller and as we walked by a woman and her dad? I heard her say, "Oh, another thing about Utah was I never saw anyone with a single stoller, only double strollers." Mind you I don't live in Utah. But what a funny generalization.

The second thing that really had me laughing was hearing my two older girls talking in the kitchen. My 10 year old as she is drawing a picture of a bird says to my 12 year old, "Do you know how to draw a cannery ?" 12 year old says, "I don't know what a cannery is." In complete awe and yet with some disgust that her sister doesn't know what a cannery is the 10 year old says, "You don't know what a cannery is? I've known what a cannery is since I was 6 years old." All of a sudden the 8 year old boy pipes up, "Don't you mean a canary?" Needless to say the 10 year old didn't find this funny. But the rest of us did.

The other funny of the week was while I was on the computer the other night. I almost decided not to post this since I don't find potty humor funny and I don't want anyone to judge me since I laughed so hard I was crying, it didn't help that my husband rewound this about 15 times and I laughed each time. But since this is a my year of no fear blog I decided to go ahead so judge me for laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and I had to wipe my eyes to clear away the tears. So anyway, I tried to find the video online but I can't so hopefully my description will do some justice. My head was down reading something on the laptop so this is what I heard in the background, "Dwayne and Ian were ready to let it rip." Then the sound of a chainsaw. Anyway, not paying attention I took the sound to be something else.

So those are my laughs, there have been many more, it's been a really funny week! What did you overhear that made you laugh?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I'll see to the ink-spotted clothes later . . .

I have a new favorite household gadget . . . any pen that DOESN'T go through the laundry.

FYI, nail polish remover worked better than rubbing alcohol or magic eraser (although flammable fluids are perhaps not a good idea if you have a gas dryer), but still took two hours of active scrubbing, during which time it suddenly occurred to me that the wording of my last post made it sound like playing with my sister and nieces was the price I had to pay to see my nephew. That's not what I meant at all!

You'd think that would teach me not to post so late at night when my mental capacity is impaired, but then you'd check the timestamp of this post and you'd be wrong.

Just to be clear, ALL of the company was my favorite part of the trip, and I would brave even scarier things than airplanes (like 8-hour drives alone with 4 children) to hang out with them again.

Feel free to spell- and grammer-check that for me.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Random Thursday

This sweet nephew:

was totally worth four airline flights in four days. I told my sister that I was sure he'd be approved as a carry-on for the return trip, but she wouldn't let me take him. She also says I'm one unattended infant away from becoming a baby snatcher. I have no idea what she's talking about.

It was also worth playing with my sister, and my two adorable nieces, who made me promise about 65 times to "Come back in the summer with ALL your kids and go swimming." The girls were also very skeptical of my ability to drive ("Are you SURE you know how to drive??") and whether or not I could navigate their home town ("Are we lost? I think we're lost. Maybe you should go that way. Did you check the map?") But they made up for their lack of faith by showering me with drawing after drawing of me in fancy dresses.

It was a short trip, but I got to come home to Mr. B, four happy children, and this steal of a Kohl's sale bargain

waiting on my doorstep. It's a steam mop, and I'm in love with it.
For lack of a better question (which is for lack of coherent thought at the current hour), what is your favorite housekeeping/kitchen/convenience gadget?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Late again!

I always mean to post on Wednesdays but it just doesn't happen sometimes! I've been busy this week. Tickling these cute little feet!

Letting a little toddler play in the water. Which entertained her for 1.5 hours, I finally had to make her stop and take a nap. I'm still cleaning up after it when I found a ton of water in the drawer pullout under the sink.

Watched my son act as a potato for scouts.

Plus I've gotten "the bug" again to have a clean garage. While watching a taped Oprah today about living with less, I decided instead of watching about living with less it was time to start living with less so I tackled my garage again. I'm hopeful I'll be parking in there again by the end of the month!

What have you been doing this week? I know Mrs. B has been baking like crazy!