When I was working in nursery a few years back I said a completely unplanned rude comment to a woman who I always had a hard time with. As her son was walking in to class I felt like I should greet her in someway so the first thing that came to mind was, "Wow, your son is getting tall." She said, "No he's not, he hasn't grown." I said, "Oh, I know, I was just saying that to make you feel better." What?!?! Why did I say that? She responded with, "I don't care if he's little, it doesn't bother me." I felt so foolish. I think I avoided her for months afterwards. Why do we say foolish things? Why couldn't I have greeted this woman with a simply, "Good Morning?" I never apologized, I never brought it up again or made a comment about her son again.
Fast forward a couple years to Saturday Night. I've mentioned before that my fears are unjustified and simple. I have a hard time with women. I try to fit in but it always seems like I say something stupid. So Saturday night I get brave enough to invite some women over to the house. It's been a long weekend and my husband was going to go out with friends so I thought why not invite some ladies in? I said a comment that again was rude to someone, not directly but indirectly I said something that a very dear friend could have taken the wrong way. She left soon after, maybe because I offended her or because it was late. I felt bad all night. Learning from my previous mistake I knew I needed to call her and apologize, not make excuses for my rude comments but apologize for offending her and explain better what I meant. My fears crept in and I was afraid to admit I did something rude and afraid to apologize. Then I knew I had to overcome this fear, a friendship might be out the door if I didn't. I called up my friend and left a message saying I wanted to apologize for the previous evening. She called back laughing hysterically, she said she was completely not offended by what I said and she completely understood what I meant when I said it. She was so kind and sweet I knew I had made the right choice by calling her so I could put my anxiety about the situation aside. I think the difference between the two experiences is I didn't really care what the first woman thought about me, but the second woman was a dear friend and I didn't want to risk the friendship.
For Confession Wednesday share something you once said to someone that was completely rude, off-color, lame, or completely out of no where.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Open Mouth, Stick In Foot
Posted by Jeri Hazelton at 8:21 AM
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One time I accidentally told my mother in law that she needed to butt out of our lives... okay~ so it wasn't really an accident.
Conversation with my husband
Me: I know this shouldn't be hard, but can you think of something stupid I've said?
Husband: Yes.
Me: What?
Husband: "I know this shouldn't be hard, but can you think of something stupid I've said?"
A few years ago, there was a new woman at my church who I had heard a lot about, but not met yet. She approached me one Sunday to tell me that our husbands had served church missions in the same country, and wondered if they knew each other. I didn't know who she was, so I asked her last name (so I could pass it on to my husband). She said it was Bullock, and I realized she was the woman I hadn't met yet. So I said, "Oh! You're . . ." (and in a split second, I grasped frantically for her first name, and came up with a familiar sounding one)" . . . Sandra!"
Then, all pleased with myself, I waited for her to confirm. She looked at me a second or two, then wearily said, "Yeah. Ha ha."
I fell all over myself apologizing because SANDRA BULLOCK was NOT the name I was looking for!! And she thought I was making fun of her! The apology didn't go well. I wanted to die.
EVERYTHING I'VE EVER SAID.
I generally say things and then instantly regret them. Sometimes I don't even know what I've said was offensive until someone says something to me. I'm dense that way.
oops.
I'm proud of you for inviting people over...you conquered a fear there, didn't you?
Alas, it wasn't me conquering fear that night, but our lovely blog author. I did, however, get to be an invitee, which was lots of fun.
One time I told my father-in-law he was a bad kisser. I didn't really feel bad about saying that because he *IS* a bad kisser.
What I did feel bad about was saying that in front of his wife.
Poor woman has to kiss him all the time instead of just once in while like I do.
Once there was some old man at the grocery store that really got on my nerves, so I told him "bite my giant white booty" I don't know if he could even hear me. He was hideous.
I can't believe this even happened, it is so embarrassing, but once time I left a big poo log in my mother in laws bed, because I HATE her. I blamed it on my baby~ but it was really mine. I guess you could call it a hate crime....
I know she hated it.
one time i told my great uncle to stick it where the sun don't shine and called him a dingle-berry!
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