Confession Wednesday: It's not Easy Being Green

Word, Kermit.

On Monday, our first official day of Summer Break, I had a few errands to run. Several, really. One of my own personal, selfish, favorite parts of summer break is that my child of legal babysitting age is home, which means I can run quick errands all by myself.

But gas prices that are rising faster than the water in my toilet after the 2-year-old flushes down a stuffed animal have me consolidating my errands, which means if one errand involves all four children (such as a trip to the Public Library), then all errands must involve all four children.

Stop One: The Hair Salon.
Did you know that if you traipse 4 children into a salon for one child's haircut, you will get the evil eye from more than one stylist? Did you know that if you conscientiously try to keep all 4 children engaged and quiet, and keep the toddler from smudging shiny surfaces, and refuse to allow the 5-year-old to sprawl on the floor, AND pile your children onto your lap as other customers arrive, so as to free up seats, YOU WILL STILL MISS THE FACT that one or more of your children are inserting their arms into the 4-inch gap between the propped-open door and the door frame, which will cause a stylist to point it out, explain the associated risks in detail, and then spend the next 90 seconds explaining to the entire shop why she was compelled to call your attention to it? (Her intentions were the most honorable, but holy cow was I embarrassed by the time she was done.)

Stop 2: TJ Maxx

Did you know TJ Maxx doesn't allow shopping cars in the dressing rooms, even if your shopping cart has NO MERCHANDISE in it, and all you're trying to do is confine a 2-year-old in it while you check on your 12-year-old who is trying on a swim suit? Even if your 12-year-old is the only person in the dressing room? And did you know the employee who halts your shopping cart at the dressing room entry is REALLY CURT about it?

TJ Maxx, I hope you enjoyed cleaning the 3-way mirror that my son smeared in the dressing room because he wasn't confined to an empty shopping cart. Also, you need better swim suits.

Stop 3: The Public Library

I was dreading this stop. I had in my hands:

1. One overdue book

2. One book that had been lost, paid for, and found again

3. One book that I bought online to replace the identical copy we lost

Public Library, I know we occasionally lose books, or keep them too long, or accidentally illustrate them with crayons, but I ALWAYS fess up, and I ALWAYS pay, and I REALLY try to prevent all those things! Can't you be a little nicer to me?

When I handed over the books, the results I got were:

1. "This is overdue."

2. "You paid for this more than six months ago. We can't take it back or refund your money."

3. "This book you bought is stamped. We can't take marked books." (This from the librarian's higher-up librarian after much deliberation and discussion.)

Normally I would have politely given in and lamented the money lost, but I was still feeling irritated from the two previous errands. Somewhere inside a little indignant assertiveness bubbled up, and I retorted, "I REALLY wish I had been told that when I CALLED to ask if I could buy a used replacement book, and was told yes!"

To my great surprise, the higher-up took half a step backwards, then said to her co-worker, "Well, then. Let's go ahead and take the book and get it off her account."

I felt vindicated! I felt triumphant! I felt a little stupid that I was having a show-down in the library.

By the way, did you know that the librarians in the children's section of the library are delightful people, and once you get past circulation, it's a lovely place to be?

Which is fortunate, because this afternoon my van is getting a new windshield a block away from the Public Library, and in order to save gas (sigh), and rather than dropping off and picking up the van, we'll be walking over to the library to wait 2-1/2 hours for our new windshield. (Anybody want to join us there?)

Dear Boy Scouts, Thank you for accidentally dropping a canoe onto my windshield, which has been cracked for 7 years, and cracking it in a new spot so I could finally and legitimately replace it under my new glass policy. Really, thank you. Also, don't do it again. I need to pay for gas, not glass.
How are you saving on gasoline this summer?
Also, another question, if less-related:
What lofty aspirations do you have for summer?