I realized earlier this week I missed a chance to conquer one of my biggest fears. Call it what you want, a fear or hatred, I think it really boils down to something that is very difficult for me to do that would have pushed me out of my comfort zone and would have been a great learning experience for me. This week is Girls' Camp for our stake. When I was younger I hated Girls' Camp. I know there are some of you that just read that statement and gasped, how could someone not love girls' camp? Spending a whole week with 100 girls that are all emotional? Wearing crazy outfits, singing silly songs, and being girly? It was just never my thing. I never felt like I had any good friends there to hang out with, I felt very lonely, and I missed my family. Like many things in my life it was something I managed to endure and continued to go until I had accomplished all the years possible at girls' camp. And I am grateful for that. But if anyone asks me if I love Girls' Camp, they will get a big NO in response. But you know what would have been great? To have gone this year. To conquer that fear/hatred of Girls' Camp. T0 be around 100 girls and all the craziness that is out of my comfort zone. The difference though would have been I have friends there to hang out with. Mrs. B is there this week along with other friends of mine. Wouldn't that have been fun? It would have been hard for me to be away from my husband that long, we don't do well apart, and since I'm pregnant I would have been miserable physically wise up there, plus I only have one child up there and three more at home with no place to go. But to have been able to go and just possibly walked away at the end of the week and tell everyone that Yes! I love Girls' Camp and I can't wait to go back. I think the year of no fear will extend well beyond the year. Being pregnant put a damper on few goals I had and one of these years I'm going to have to get up the nerve to go back to Girls' Camp. Do you have a missed opportunity? Something that you said no to or didn't think of doing until it was too late and regretted your decision? Someone you never met or never said hi to?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
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12 comments:
I, too, was not a fan of girls camp. Not because of the friends or silly songs, and my mom was there every year. I hated the non real shower or bathroom facilities. I tend to like to eat what I like to eat. I like to sleep when I like to sleep. And most of all I hate all the dirt...
I only went to one year of girls camp and it really wasn't that fun. What I hated the most was being the only one from my ward so i din't know anyone really and I was thrown in with people who were already buddied up. I felt like a loner. I know I have plenty of missed oppertunities but I can't think of a specific at the moment.
I really didn't like Girls' Camp either, with the crafts and silly songs, hormones, etc. I really just wanted to go backpacking with the Scouts. (At least it would have been real camping.) So I washed dishes in the kitchen the whole week. I got to hang out with the adults (who I got along with better anyway. . .) and that kept me sane.
In terms of missed opportunities, I feel like I say no too often to people when they ask me to do something with them, because I'm too shy. Then 10 minutes later, I wish I had said yes. Oh well. :)
I had an opportunity to share the gospel with a good friend of mine a while back, and I chickened out because I was afriad it would make things awkward. We're no longer in touch, and I really regret missing that chance!
I have been in my ward for three almost four years now and I'm just getting to know some really wonderful ladies. I regret that I didn't get to know them sooner!
I am one of "those" people who love Girls Camp. I was unaware of tension and cliques so I just had fun. Plus I could get away from my parents for a week. (Yeah!) I even went back my 5 and 6th year to be the lifeguard. I wish I could take tomorrow off to hike Mt. McLaughlin. I haven't done that since I was a teenager. Sorry to be the spoil sport!
Tana, I don't think you are a spoil sport. I doubt YONF set up this post to agree with her about Girls Camp. I think she was showing her slight disappointment in a missed opportunity. I for one have "missed opportunity" as my middle name. There were several experiences in life where I wanted to do something but allowed other's opinions who were stronger than mine to make my decisions for me. Here are a few examples: (feel free to skip to the conclusion)
1. Wanted to go to Utah State where my parents went...didn't go because of the guilt of out of state tuition fees...found out several years later my dad had arranged for several alumni scholorships for me.
2. Found my dream wedding dress; rental only $300. Mom's friend in San Francisco found a dress at the Gunne Sacs Outlet for $29. Mom decided to pay a woman in Ashland to alter it for me bringing the total up to $250. Now I have a dress I didn't want hanging in my closet.
3. Wanted to study abroad with my French class in college...a little resistance from my parents about the cost and I caved.
I could go on but this post is long enough.
In conclusion(announced for the people that skipped forward) I have tried in the last few years to use my 30+ years of knowledge and experience to say "yes" when inside I really mean "yes" but it seems against my nature, and thanks to this blog say "yes" when I really want to say "no" out of fear or uncertainty. Thank you for this post and allowing me to ponder on this for a while.
A few weeks ago in Relief Society the teacher was suddenly unable to teach. The thought occurred to me, since I wasn't having to teach that month, I had read the lesson and I could teach it. It seemed fair since I had the month off. I almost volunteered but luckily I didn't. Instead of a missed opportunity I think it was wise I did not. The lesson was on death and there was a woman in class that had recently lost her young child. I don't think I could have brought the spirit into the room or carried out the lesson as well as it had gone for various of reasons. I'm glad I was able to see the difference between knowing when to hold my tongue and when to volunteer to do something just to do it.
I love your blog. I've been dealing with social anxiety disorder for the past 15 years and have had to overcome fears that most people don't even recognize as fears. In the past year I've had to face many of my fears head on after being called as RS President. But I'm still not sure I'd be brave enough to face every fear that comes my way. That's very courageous and I'm impressed with your efforts.
I don't really remember enjoying girl's camp either. It's funny that my daughter LOVES going each year because all I can think is "better her than me!" Being called to YW is one of the biggest fears I have!
One of my biggest regrets for a missed opportunity was not sharing the gospel with some of the people I've known over the years.
I detested girls camp as a YW. Like with the white hot passion of a million suns. We had a really beautiful camp and every year I would think, "This would be so awesome...if I was here by myself." So, after 4 years I decided not to go back. Boy, did I ever catch it from the Girls Camp Nazis in the ward. I can't say I regret deciding not to go back to be a Big Sister.
I have a missed opportunity called LT and I am going to fight to get it back!!!!
chaela
PS your blog rocks. almost as much as Mrs. B does. Ooga Booga Queen!
Also, I liked girl's camp growing up and it's even better as an adult. I bet you'd love it!
Chaela! I completely agree with you about girls' camp. In fact, I'll be writing a post all about it just as soon as I catch back up on a little sleep. Also, I say, "ROCK the LT! ROCK ROCK the LT!"
Love, Queen Ooga Booga
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