Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Wednesday Confession: Facebook Etiquette

I've been a "member" of facebook (mom-go to to see what this is) for quite awhile. My sister-in-law challenged me to join, she also challenged me to start a blog, Thanks! I'm still trying to figure out the etiquette of facebook. For example, who do you invite to be your friends? I'm constantly exclaiming to my husband, "200 friends, how can so and so have 200 friends?" Do you just request everyone you've ever met? Where do you draw the line?

I did an experiment today, I was at the eye dr. for my daughter's appointment. While there an old high school friend came up to say hi. I've been to the eye dr. a lot, between daughter and myself and never has this old friend been so friendly. I found her on facebook a few weeks ago but decided not to request to be her friend because I wasn't sure how we really left things between us years ago. She is one of those high school friends that was tons of fun and made me do things way out of my comfort zone, she was hilarious! But after high school I went away to college and we never really connected as friends again. So my experiment-I was very friendly today and now I'm curious to see if she requests me as a friend.

So my etiquette questions about facebook-
1. Do you just request everyone you've ever met to be your friend?
2. What do you write in the "what are you doing right now" field?
3. How often should I comment on someone's wall?
4. What's up with poking people? Should I do that?

Mrs. B and I were having a race to see who could post first today-yeah I won!


snowwhiteor said...

Oh Goodness! Why do you wait for her to request you as a friend? You make the first move...throw your own request out there girl!!!

LCM said...

I am not sure because I don't know if people even remember me. I am cursed? with a bizarrely good memory. But I see people from high school 'friends' with people they never even 'saw' in the hall. My weird thing is what about all of the boys I was friends with. Should I be friends with them now that I am an old married lady?
I haven't listed anything about what I am doing now. I comment only when I want to. And I poke only people I know really well. I inappropriately slapped my sister and dropkicked my brother. Some things never change.
And hey, you are friends with me and the main memory I have of you is babysitting I feel very old, but I had a really good time with you.
Oh and my word is that because I am sitting here eating while watching the Britney documentary? Even the internet is judging me.

Mandi said...

Hmm good question. I've wondered the same thing. I always request friends that were clearly my friends, and then those questionable people. . hmm. I don't have the guts. I don't know I guess I have this weird thing about high school especially-- I loved it when I was in it but I like leaving it in the past, so if I start feeling like I just have to be friends with the previously "popular" people, then I'm like, hey no thanks. That made no sense, huh?

Savannah said...

Request/accept friends if you wouldn't mind them knowing about you, your business, and what you're up to! With the mini feed, it tells people what you're up to, so if you don't want them to know, better to not have them as a friend.
I have a TON of friends on facebook and I know/have known every one of them at some point in my life. My philosophy is, the more friends the better! It's fun to see what people are up to.
I really only write on people's walls who I know/knew really well or to tell someone happy birthday!
As far as poking goes, I'm not really sure what that's all about (even though I've been on facebook for 4ish years). I don't do the whole "poking" thing. I also don't do any of the other add ons to facebook, I just like to keep it simple!

Tana said...

Some of my sister's friends request me as there friends and I just don't really know them. It's hard to choose sometimes. If I was a friend and we knew each other at all then I request as a friend but if I knew them through someone or just because they are member or in my class, then I don't usually do it.

Megan said...

Oh boy. I have so many feelings about facebook. My dilemma tends to be not wanting to accept every friend request I recieve. I mean, I get requests from people I was only aquaintances with...not even friends. And then I accept them and my homepage is filled up with udates and pictures and all that stuff for people that I don't really even know in real life! But I also don't want to be rude and turn down a friend request:(

Also, I really hate all of the super pokes. And all the invites to groups and causes, and all those dumb quizes, like "what disney princess are you?" I guess you could say that I am a facebook scruge!

Julie said...

I too have wondered some of these things. I have people that have requested to be my friend that I really don't know, mostly extended in law family or people from high school that I really didn't hang out with. I feel bad not confirming them, but I'm not out to have the highest friend count and have every person I've ever met see all my pics, etc. I guess I'm more of a private person and just like to keep my circle kind of smaller with people I know not just those I was acquainted with. People with numbers in the hundreds and yes even thousands kind of seem crazy. How do you even handle that?! I just do whatever I feel like in the status as I feel like it. I really don't like the pokes and am not planning on participating in it at all.

Julie said...

Okay, so I'm still thinking about this. Sometimes I will find someone on there and I think hmm I wonder what they're up to but I don't know if I should request them. So then I just leave it to them, thinking Well if they send a request then sure I'll add that person but I don't know why, but I feel stupid sending them the request and wondering if they remember me or even would care to add me. I guess I shouldn't think about it so much, especially since I have people I don't add. Did any of that make sense??

Jill said...

Here's a FB tip for you -- if you decide, after accepting a friend request, that you don't really want to be that person's friend, you can delete them and they aren't notified....

Lauren said...

Whatever you do...DON'T POKE SOMEONE! I throw mental firey darts at people who poke. I just don't get the poking thing haha.